My partner is (F35) and myself (F35) for context of this post. She keeps saying she will tell her mother about me as her partner as she’s out of the closet, previously married to a woman, but fears her mother will judge her given it’s been a year since she separated from her ex.
I’m in a LDR with my partner for context – planning to fly down to her state (been there in Fall last) and this time I’ll meet her two sisters and her bff only. I’ve told my family about her and my mom, even though my mom is homophobic, I still told her because I want to be honest and not hide someone I’m with.
We’ve been together for 6.5 months only. She wants to tell her mother/father on her own time when she’s ready, and I respected that. But, deep down, it hurts knowing that I’m this big secret because it was hard for me to come out and I’ve been a secret in a previous relationship and it sucked.
Question is.. how long should I have to wait until she tells her mother about us/me? I feel I mentally told myself by summer at latest. But I’m not sure anymore.
Any advice would be great! TIA for reading 🙂
1 comment
If you two are serious or getting serious than it is time. If you haven’t talked about the issues you’ve had in being kept a secret in the past, I’d have that conversation…
“Look, I’m trying to respect your wishes regarding you telling your parents about me, but I feel such n such way because of this past experience and I feel like if we are going to be in a serious relationship with each other it’s gotta be time to talk to them. I’m not saying tell them this very minute, but I do need you to know that it’s something important to the longevity of this relationship, and a discomfort to me. So please don’t just put it off out of fear. Please genuinely be working up the courage to say it to your parents. Because it’s scary to me to be in this situation again.”
And have a mental deadline that allows for that… If it’s summer then let it be summer.