I (20M) was having a discussion with my girlfriend (19F) because she noticed that a female friend tends to send me random pictures of herself and her activities from time to time. I‘m an international student abroad and so is my girlfriend. We’ve been dating for about almost five months.
The friend in question lives back in my home country and is three years younger than me, we met through some online classes during the pandemic and became really good friends. It’s never been anything romantic in any way, strictly a very close friendship, I consider her a little sister in several ways and she‘s always looked up to me and turned to me for advice. Sending random photos and updates has always been part of her ways, and since I’ve been living away, it’s one of the only ways for me to know what‘s going on in her life.
My girlfriend saw some of these photos and said it‘s shitty for me to get photos from other girls and that it makes it less special for her to send. I usually have to beg for her to send me photos of her outfits and updates throughout her day. She says it’s a general thing, not talking about the girl specifically, but I assured her that I don’t get that type of photos from anyone else, so in my opinion it’s more of a personal thing.
I really don’t care too much about the photos or updates themselves, I’m afraid that she’s getting to control everything and everything has to go her way, or else she finds ways to make me feel shitty about things that aren’t even in my control or that shouldn’t even really affect her. I got really mad because I feel like that everything in the relationship is going in such a way that she gets to manage everything and barely ever cares about how I feel. With this case specifically, she tries to make me feel shitty for receiving pictures from a girl that I consider a little sister.
**TL;DR;: Basically, my girlfriend thinks that it’s not special for her to send photos and updates of herself because a friend who is miles away and I consider a little sister sends regular updates on her life by means of pictures and messages. I feel like she’s controlling everything in our relationship and doesn’t even consider my feelings. Am I in the wrong here?**
2 comments
Why are you tolerating this?
No, it’s not wrong. You don’t see your international friend in real life, she’s sharing information she won’t put online but only with friends. This is the best method. This special BS is in your GF’s head.
You should tell her that you find her attitude quite controlling and she’s making up a problem where there is none. She seems to be competing with your friend without understanding there is no competition. If she doesn’t understand she’s already the winner, this is not going to stop.