So just for context my bf and I have been dating 2.5 years and we moved in together in September. We are currently on vacation with my family. Early this morning I heard his alarm at 6am (which he doesn’t wake up from), so I came out to turn it off. When I was closing the alarm app, I saw Bumble on his open tabs.
I’ve never snooped thru his phone or anyone’s phone because I was always afraid of what I would find and I feel like I was right. The bumble profile was logged out so I didn’t really see anything. I also saw a TextMe app which I guess is anonymous texting and calling people.
My heart rate was thru the roof and I felt like I was having a panic attack so I just locked his phone and went back to my room. I’m honestly so heartbroken over this, he’s always preached to me that he hates cheating and he loves me so much he could never, but I’m freaking out. Even if he’s not cheating, he’s looking I feel like.
I’m not the type to call him out in front of everyone and I don’t want to ruin the vacation vibes with MY whole family but I don’t know what to do. plz help.
tldr: found bumble on bf’s phone while i’m on vacation with my family
12 comments
Since it was in his open tabs he can’t say that it’s always been there aka an app on his phone from before you dated. He’d clearly been on it. I wouldn’t confront while with family but I’d definitely confront when able to. You’re right he may not be physically cheating YET but who needs that maybe in their life? A guy that deserves you won’t come with questions or potential for cheating. I’m sorry you’re facing this no one deserves that.
Ugh that sucks 🙁 Yeah there’s no reason for him to have those apps active on his phone unless he’s looking. Agreed with the other comment- wait until you’re back from vacation, give yourself time to collect your thoughts and figure out how to approach it as clearly and straightforward as possible.
Like “hey, when we were on vacation, I turned your alarm off and saw bumble and textme on your phone/open tabs. I’d like to know why you’ve been using it”.
I personally would prefer my partner deleted any dating or dating related apps from their phone after we become exclusive, but I wouldn’t ask them to do it explicitly… unless I saw they had dating apps that were active in open tabs on the phone. I’d feel the exact same as you. Good luck, hopefully the conversation leads to him deleting the apps, or you finding someone more invested in the relationship with you.
I would hold your horses before jumping to conclusions. Bumble isn’t just a dating app but a friendship and professional connection (like LinkedIn) app as well. He could very well be looking for new friends or business contacts for future work opportunities. Text app could be for secured communications but is more suspicious.
I would talk to him about this and see if any of his behavior changes and becomes suspicious as well. I suggest calming down and getting some sleep so you can think more clearly without so much emotions (would happen with anyone). You don’t want to blow up your world over a misunderstanding.
I’m wishing you luck and a happy ending.
If you confront him, he is just going to delete it and you will never get the full story. It sucks when you put some much into a relationship and they do something like this to you. Bumble is a dating app and the text me app is most likely how he communicates with any matches he makes. If you have an open phone policy check it again and possibly look to the texting app for any conversation/messages with others. But, you need to know if he has had any physical contact with these people within your relationship.
I wish you luck.
Doesn’t bumble have a friend finding feature ?
Please be logical here. He’s obviously cheating. To think anything else would be denial. You deserve someone who truly loves you. Please leave this situation. If anything id bring it up to someone close in your family and imo if get said boyfriend to leave the vacation early so you can start the breakup and healing process.
If your boyfriend was using a dating app to look for friends 1) it’d be prudent to mention that to you 2) he’d talk about the new people he’s making friends with.
The audacity and disrespect this POS is showing you by doing this while on vacation with your family is disgusting and disrespectful. He’s not worth it. Please protect your piece and leave him. I’d send him home early if possible. This wasn’t an accident and this isn’t just curiosity. Please don’t listen to whatever bs excuse he has to offer. He may have already cheated, but if you didn’t catch him when you did it would only be a matter of time. I’m so sorry he isn’t who you thought he was. You deserve so much better.
Why were hou afraid of what you would find on his phone? Kinda lburied the lede there.
It’s over unfortunately. At least you found out sooner rather than later.
get the phone again and do deep dive so you know the story before confronting . waiting until the end of vacation will burn you up inside . at least it would for me
Something similar happened with my ex, who I unfortunately still live with. Found apps and messages of him chatting up other women. We had established this boundary ahead of time and, despite that, he doesn’t consider it cheating because he did physically sleep with anyone (yet). Don’t waste your youth and peace of mind on this man.