I’m 35 and I got blindsided by divorce papers the day after Christmas. I temporarily moved in with my parents while we split the house and other assets. I’m in therapy and moving to a new city/state next month. I’m trying to build my life back up and it’s going *okay*.
I can honestly say to myself that we were incompatible and I can remember many times where things weren’t good in the relationship, especially near the end. However, every new experience reminds me of the good times. For instance today I ate alone at a ( new to me ) dive bar in my parents’ town. I tried to enjoy myself but they had an air hockey table and it brought back memories of times we’d play together.
I know we’re not going to be together again, but I can’t imagine opening myself up to someone new either. Those that found love again, how’d you do it?
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It’s a cliche, I know, but the best way to find love is to stop looking for it.
I went on a series of dates after my divorce and they fucking sucked. Some made for hilarious stories, but at the time it wasn’t terribly funny.
So I refocused and decided I was going to write a really good album, and I got a band together, and we wrote a… sort-of okay album.
And then that band broke up and I started another band, and then in that second band, the singer and I fell in love with each other.
Tbh I don’t think you should be focusing on that now. Just get comfortable being single again. Whatever comes next is only good when you’re feeling happy again yourself.
> I got blindsided by divorce papers
I hope I’m not being insensitive by asking, but did a divorce ever cross your mind considering a rocky relationship?
I want to wish you well. I’m not sure if it’s a great idea to immediately find another partner while still working out the emotional aspects of a divorce. Learn to enjoy that “me” time.