I’m going to try to keep this post short, but I can provide more details or answer questions if needed. But basically my gf and I have been dating since our junior year of high school and she’s been the one constant in my life through a lot of turmoil, and I love her to death and I have no idea what I would ever do without her.
But we had a big fight this past week, and now we’re planning to sit down to have a talk about the future of our relationship, and I’m 99% sure that she’s going to break up with me. I’m going to try to convince her not to, but to be totally honest I’m not very optimistic.
Has anyone ever broken up with somebody after being together for so long or after being together from such a young age? I honestly can’t even start to think about what I’m going to do without her, my gf is everything to me. I don’t even really have anyone else in my life that I’m close enough to talk to about stuff like this.
tl;dr: I’ve been with my gf my entire adult life and I think our relationship is about to end, I’m not prepared to handle this and I need some advice about what to do with myself.
4 comments
Well.. what was the argument about? What problems do you have?
It’s hard to give advice without details.
I mean it’s def hard. I dated someone for almost 7 years from 21 to 28. We moved from Austin Texas to Los Angeles, lived together that entire time, and I thought we were meant to be. I was going through something that she didn’t care to understand. It was hard on our relationship and maybe we COULD HAVE figured out that thing but we split up. It ruined me for a few years
I had medical things going on, and mental.
I guess the end of the story is I met the LOVE OF MY LIFE when I was 36, and as a 40 year old I’m now engaged for the first time ever. I used the dozens of relationships I had before, those experiences, to help me find exactly what I wanted. Most people get into relationships young and force themselves to stay in them because it’s just too comfy and easy. Going out on your own sucks, but it’s also the most amazing thing. I learned to be on my own, amd be 100% ok with that. I’ve learned to love who I am, and I would have been fine single for the rest of my life. I like my alone time, I have hobbies and interests. I care less about how others see me. Once my life was stable, I met my fiance. It was easier because all I needed from the relationship was relationship things. I didn’t need to rely on her for money], help with medical issues, a place to live etc..
So bottom line it’s hard but not the end of the world. Psometimes it can lead you to exactly where you want to be.
It sounds like you’re long distance, so you’re not living together? That honestly makes things about 90% easier than if you lived together. So you’re doing pretty well all things considered.
What do you do? Feel like shit for a few weeks, then like less shit for a few more weeks, then after 4-6 months you’ll start to feel more or less back to normal. Just keep full no contact and focus on hobbies and friends, get therapy, and you’ll be ok, then go meet some new ladies.
Just because you think she is gonna break up doesn’t mean she will. But if she does, You can find someone else. With 13 years under your belt, I would try to fix things. The reason being is that what this does it that it tests your relationship. If this didn’t happen now it would have happened later.
If this was me, I would fight my hardest to try to save this if it was reasonable. with a 3 year relationship though,it is easier to break up. But trust me, even if you make it through this. there probably will be another time like this, and that is okay,you will have your relationship tested more than once