I genuinely need to know if I was being manipulative in this situation, as it wasn’t my intent.
I was going through old photos on my phone and wanted to show my partner. He took my phone to look. I asked for it back because I had something else to show. He kept scrolling and telling me to wait because he wanted to look. Again I asked for it back because I just really wanted to show something. He said no and to let him “appreciate” me.
I got annoyed because whenever he asks for something from me it needs to be immediate or else he throws a tantrum.
Finally he gives back my phone and tells me to show him. I say that I’m upset and don’t feel like it. Then I tell him that it annoyed me he did something that if roles were reversed I would not be allowed to tell him to hold on or wait.
He then sinks in his seat and under his breath just says “manipulative”.
I ask him to repeat and he says it louder. Then says he doesn’t want to argue or get into anything and to just leave it
3 comments
These are things you mentioned on your two posts here:
were also some hiccups and issues […] I noticed some things with his personality; hot headedness, need to constantly be right and never admitting fault – if he recognises he’s wrong then he’ll make a joke, turns every conversation back to him, and constantly making me feel like shit/shut me down when I try to express my opinion or self. […] I haven’t noticed any changes in our relationship. I feel I’ve checked out and I’m just going about day to day. I’m sure my checking out is paying a role but I genuinely feel drained in this relationship. I feel he’s not aware of any of it even when I’ve pointed out the issues. […] I thought it would get better but I feel like I’ve put my all into this and all I get is crumbs […] whenever he asks for something from me it needs to be immediate or else he throws a tantrum. Plus you mentioned that you are going through therapy, trying to be better and he doesn’t give a shit or respect that either.
Not only he is the manipulative one, he gaslights you into thinking you are manipulative, plays it like “I don’t want to argue or get into anything” and you are left feeling the dramatic one. Please take a step back and ask yourself if you deserve better than that.
He’s trash. What are you doing? Learn what a good relationship looks like before you waste your life and please please learn what abusive behaviour looks like.
I haven’t thrown a tantrum since 3.