I have recently ended two relationships. One very long term and one of just about a year. My long term relationship was with someone who seldom enjoyed sex. In fact she hated it. Our sex life was very dull and amounted to me doing all the work and basically fantasizing to have an orgasm. It was little more than PIV masturbation.
The relationship that just ended was nothing like that. She loves sex and I got used to having sex all the time. She never told me she was not in the mood and the sex was amazing. We love each other very much but circumstances are keeping us apart. She was and is my best friend even now.
My previous partner seldom could have an orgasm, no matter how hard I tried. And we tried. When she did orgasm is was a combination of lots of oral and toys. I would come first and then I would go to work. It was always the same, while she took a shower I would watch porn, get really horny and then come as quickly as possible pulling out, grinding on her pelvic bone. I always orgasmed.
My last partner was very adventurous and we would make love for hours. She would come hard and often, I never counted, it became a thing with us to never know just how many orgasms she would have. Here is the weird part, I seldom had an orgasm. If I did it was usually with me jacking off while I stimulated her vagina, she would come many more times. It would take me quite a while to come. The last time I did come inside her it kind of came as a surprise. She was very relaxed, quite drunk and extremely sexually satisfied, and I was able to do the deed. All her orgasms are a little distracting. When I started to feel it she would begin to orgasm and I would, of course, make sure she did. The last time I did come inside her she was not coming. That is just part of it.
Why I think my brain is broken. I have to get in the mindset to come. I need a fantasy in my mind. I do not get very horny anymore. I want to have sex, I like to have sex, but it has become the emotional attachment for me at this point. I was/am extremely sexually attracted to her. She is much younger than myself, fit, and everything I want in a partner. I miss her.
Since we moved to a platonic relationship I have been able to watch porn, masterbate and have orgasms. Always two. Weirdly fantasizing about my now best friend.
I am on testosterone, can’t tell if it helps my libido. My bloodwork says I am now in the high normal range. I also deal with ED, and am on meds for that. Those meds are working.
I have given up porn and masterbating. I will continue my medical treatments. I want to get this fixed before I enter another relationship or circumstances allow me and my girlfriend to get back together. Is there anything else I can do?