I’m pretty darn sure I have social anxiety that got worse through the isolation since COVID—and I’m sure I’m not alone in this. But I’ve been working with a therapist for the last 3 years, and really pushing myself to go into every conversation with curiosity. I still have that nagging voice in the back of my head saying, “you always say things that come out wrong” or, “nobody wants to listen to you.” And sometimes it just straight up feels like they’re ignoring me or making fun of me behind my back. They’ll exchange this knowing look with each other while I’m talking, or someone else will just start talking over me. I get the sense that they hate me, but my partner reassures me that they don’t. I don’t want to have to continue to rely on my partner for the reassurance, because I’m sure it gets exhausting, but I feel like I put my best foot forward and it’s not enough. Im worried it’s too late for me to get to know them, but I want to. They’re all cool and interesting people, and I like existing around them. Whenever I try to engage though, it feels like I just push them away. Plus, they frequently want to hang out with my partner, often at our house, so it’s not like I can ignore the issue. Sorry, that was a ramble, but any and all advice is appreciated. I’m afraid that maybe they’ll forever see me as the closed off weirdo.