I am at a loss for words. Yesterday I went to check the history on our computer for an unrelated minecraft video and the history shocked me.
We have been together for so long, just got our new apartment, and this??
First he tried to say he was just curious, and of course he wouldnt spend money on it. And then it was my fault. Then it was he was looking for his brother.
The changing of stories obviously means he is a fucking liar, right?
I am disgusted. I should be heartbroken, I don’t know. This was just a level I never thought I would see my nerdy, kind, and caring boyfriend go to.
I called my dad and told him first thing – I was just in shock and he was the first person I thought of. And then he was almost offended that I told my dad?
I told him I was going to go get std tested – he says he was just curious and did not follow through with it but I wont rest until I get std testing.
I guess I need advice? I have put him through plenty of b.s. but nothing like this. I just dont even know how to proceed.
Tldr: boyfriend looking up prostitutes.
4 comments
I feel like it’s important to ask,
How many websites/escorts did he check out? Why was he “curious” in the first place? Curious about what? And can you explain further why he started blaming you? What was he “blaming” you for? Him looking in the first place? Because that would suggest more than curiosity. He seems too flip-flop that I would definitely feel uneasy and I don’t blame you for the testing. I’ve been with my bf for 10 years, had a small infidelity when he spent money on a private cam show. Never in a million years would I have expected that from him. He also tried to “blame me” for a small bit. What he said was especially brutal and hard to move past (I won’t say what it was but I’ll just say it involved my autism). I get your pain…
That being said, I feel like there’s still a lot of info left to provide here, especially if you’re looking for advice. Definitely don’t want to give you any kind of bad advice.
DM if you need to.
Exactly what is he looking for? Sex with strangers? Why is he blaming you? Are you two having trouble with intimacy? I know this: Men want two things in life; to be fed and effed. Those are the priorities. I don’t care if anyone agrees with this or not. It’s just how men are wired. Not every man, but a majority of them.
Ten years together is a long time. How is your relationship other than this new wrinkle?
Let me ask you some personal questions in order to get a picture. Why aren’t you married? Is that a goal of yours as a couple? Do you have children or even want children?
What about trust? How is the communication going before this move to the new apartment?
Something has changed or you’ve just discovered he’s leading a secret life?
I know how hurt and shocked you must be. It’s heartbreaking 💔.
Getting tested for STD’s is a very wise move. You need to take care of you.
He might be a liar. I don’t know, but one thing is for sure. He’s an idiot for not clearing the browsing history. Sorry, trying to inject some levity.
Hang in there. I’m so sorry you are dealing with this.😔
It’s not your fault. Also, you’ve been with this idiot since you were 17 and he was 25? Don’t waste the rest of your 20’s on a creep.
Normal men don’t do things like this. Staying loyal isn’t difficult. You deserve better.