I (26, Female) have been consistently having sex for the past few months with other girls from apps, Local bars, etc.
I always hear “I’m just not ready for a relationship” but then go pursue other dating opportunities with different people.
I know me being monogamous is a lot of baggage for most queer woman in my area. I think I’m legit a minority.
I’m legit worried that maybe there’s some quality that I am doing that makes me undateable.
I also want to stress that I’m not out here, specifically looking to date, but when I find myself interested in someone, I get a handful of rejection and disappointment.
EDIT: Forgot to mention: Trans woman
10 comments
Keep trying. Go to different places. Go outside your comfort zone. Love has funny way of finding people, you never know you’ll find what you’re looking for when you least expect it. Hope this helps. Good luck ❤️
Which apps are you using? I wouldn’t reccommend Her or Tinder for a relationship, but I always had good quality matches on OKC.
>I’m not out here, specifically looking to date, but when I find myself interested in someone, I get a handful of rejection
Well, yeah, if you’re starting with a hookup, that’s probably why. You’re starting your interaction with this person with a purely physical, casual thing. In my experience sometimes FWB situations will lead to relationships but not hookups.
Be honest with the other people about what you expect and search and be confident to say no if this is not the same as they search.
A bi girl I know said she only sees other girls on a casual basis because she wants kids in the future, so she will see men for serious relationships. Generalising that would be bi-phobic but it would be a reasonable question to ask any queer person early in the talking stage.
Guess you have something sexy attractive on you
Are you quiet attractive?
How are you showing you are monogamous? By sleeping with randoms at bars/on apps consistently? As a monogamous person I would find it hard to trust you, but I’m not into hookups up culture. Difficult to except a strange to view you as a monogamous person if you have a habit of sleeping with basically strangers. Most people these days value sex over relationships. Its quicker and they don’t have to reflect much if at all. Its sad but this is what happens when you live in a “give it to me now just the way I want it” society obsessed with egos.
be careful. a lot of ppl have fetish with trans women. that could be the issue here.
It’s your worry that is the problem. Whatever it is you believe, is exactly what will happen. Believe the opposite, chill. You might be subconsciously projecting your insecurities outward.
I don’t really know that much about lesbian dating, but this is really surprising given the “lesbians bring a U-Haul to the second date” stereotype.