Simple question, how does one transition from having a porn/fap addiction into real sex? Other than the obvious of, not watching porn/masturbating and starting to have real sexual encounters with a women. I can easily get aroused, hard, and comfortable with myself but, having sex with a women is so much more different, there is more anxiety and more variables to take in account. How does one easily and quickly make that change? I’ve made the step of abstaining from watching, which took years, but now getting the experience and expertise with a women will be another huge challenge unless I find the perfect, understanding girl.
2 comments
>How does one easily and quickly make that change?
You unfortunately don’t get over an addiction easily and quickly, and you also don’t usually get over anxieties easily and quickly. This typically requires intentional work, commitment, and patience.
I think the hardest, and to me most important part about getting over sexual anxieties is learning to be vulnerable, and accepting that it’s going to feel uncomfortable for some time. Try to accept the idea of not immediately being “good” at it (by your standards), or not “doing the right thing” right away, or whatever other content your anxieties about sex has.
My second piece of advice is to be open with your partner, assuming it’s someone you know a little more than a random hookup. Tell them you’re anxious, or that you’re unsure. Communicate about what will make you more comfortable, ask them what makes them feel good etc.
Finally, you should probably seek some support from a therapist or an addiction group/center. It may help to talk to others who have struggled with similar issues, and therapy is always a good idea when dealing with anxieties.
[deleted]