So me f(21) and my bf(22) of 9 months have recently been going through some stuff so bare with me, him and I met and got along great, we have done a lot of amazing things together like hiking mountains, concerts and we are due to go to Hawaii next week. Well 3 months into our relationship, I find out he was vaping but hiding it. No big deal for vaping, but to hide it so well is what was a red flag for me and I just didn’t trust him at all after, I forgave him or at least tried. After I was skeptical, I couldn’t go a day without thinking he was up to something like cheating. I would accuse him and it would start arguments because my mind wouldn’t shut up. At first, he handled it well. He supported me in every way he was available to as he had stuff in his life. Well few months past and we still fight a lot, his dad passes away. At this point, our relationship was okay but we did fight quite a bit still. My accusations or assumptions usually starting up the flame, a month after his dad passes we just can’t get along. He is no longer patient. He yells back and calls names now, we clash. I am now moved out of his place so he can have space. Today we got in a fight and he quoted how he doesn’t know what he wants or how to be happy and he needs a minute. I asked him if this was it and he said “that’s not what I said” and he is continuing to call me babe and say he loves me and I am just so confused. Is this worth salvaging? I’ve been talking to my doctor for months, she has been thinking bpd is something I may have. Maybe that’s why I sabotaged our relationship. We were happy once, I want that back I don’t want to let go because I know I know he’s a good person. What do I do?