Half a year ago, got out of a long serious relationship, took sometime to reflect and think. Now I feel like I’m ready to get back out into the dating scene. I’m 26F, I don’t want to also date for the sake of dating. My last relationship has always felt like “the one” because of how well compatible we were personality wise. It just didn’t work out due to different ideals in life where we found ourselves at a standstill and could not compromise such as the idea of kids, family, and where we would live.
Been on a few dates with different ppl, but never really had much chemistry. There was one however where we clicked pretty well. I’m a very anxious over thinker and I also know that my type of personality is someone who can be very clingy. (Still very independent, i live alone, and have a good career, there’s just nothing that makes me happier than being able to be around the person that I enjoy being with).
It’s very hard for me to read him as a person, i just dont know how to navigate trying to communicate with a new person, or even if i should communicate with them? He seems to like me and states that we do have chemistry, but he has also stated that he never had a serious relationship. I am just not used to being in a position where i feel like i should be the one to initiate conversations all the time, whereas he has no problems reciprocating.
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I’m in the opposite position from you, as the boyfriend in the exact same situation, and I hope you aren’t my ex (she’s also 26 and we broke up in August)…
It’s been really hard—I haven’t gotten on the apps, I’ve been on one spontaneous bar date, I’ve slept with a girl I used to see, but I’ve done nothing serious. It still feels off to try—we dated for so long that she became my best friend, and Ive accepted its gunna take another 2-3 years to find a new best friend tbh.
Valentines Day was pretty hard, I think about her everyday but especially this week—that all said, I’ve spent the last six months getting in shape and getting a camera and posting for the first time on social media in a while…all getting ready for the apps and just modern dating in general.
I feel handsome enough, I have plenty of money and career success, but my heart is just not in dating yet and I think that’s OK. She and I don’t speak anymore and I think that human connection part of it is what I miss.
I’m optimistic at the end of the day that with a few good pictures and jokes I’ll find someone, but I think this is gunna be a multi-year process. Luckily, as a woman, you might find being single much easier, even if the connection bit isn’t coming that easily.
All I’d say with all of the above context is that you should be open with people, focus on dinner dates, pursue people you probably wouldn’t normally (those you like and that you see often, even at work), and go out with a smaller number of friends for the most approachability.
Best of luck!