My older son moved in with her since my wife and I began divorce proceedings. He kisses the ground she walks on and she gives him peace during this tough time. My co-parent called because our son called her a bitch via text and blocked her number. The reason is because my sister told our son that my co-parent cheated on me. My son has been checking on me and I didn’t know why, but he told me he realizes none of this is my fault. My co-parent is complaining that my sister is turning her against me. I asked her to stop discussing my son’s mother with him, but she said that, under her house she can do whatever she wants and that when my son is in her house she owns him and can act how she pleases. Thoughts?
35 comments
Saddling children with adult problems is not cool.
Tell your sister that if she cares AT ALL about her nephew, she should stop trying to destroy his relationship with his mother. That is psychologically damaging to your son. Your sister is actively hurting your son.
Your sister needs to act like an adult.
Your sister is weaponizing your child against his mother. Not cool, regardless of her actions.
Did you sister lie to him? Or did she tell him the truth? How old is your son?
> under her house she can do whatever she wants and that when my son is in her house she owns him and can act how she pleases. Thoughts?
In her house she can do what she wants, however your sister is using your son against his mother. That’s not good, and it doesn’t matter her reasoning.
I’m a believer that kids shouldn’t be dragged into disagreements between the parents, personally. It isn’t your sister’s place to share the details of you and your wife’s relationship.
I think a long talk with your sister is in order. It seems like she is angry at your wife on your behalf, which is valid, but it isn’t her place to “blow up” your family
Judges do not look kindly on parental alienation. You need to get your shit together before you end up losing time with the younger kids.
Gross
Why is your child with your sister? You arent a competent parent or something?
If it’s true, your son has a right to know.
How old is this son?
Is your sister lying to him?
Your sister is trash
Your sister sounds immature and childish. Get your son out of there and protect him before she raises him to a be an immature brat like her.
The problems are between the both of you. A good parent can be a horrible spouse. I whould hate my parents or anyone else destroy one of my kids most important relationships. No matter how much they could wrong me.
Your sister is hurting your son and legally could hurt your custody case. You need to remove your son from your sister’s home.
Your sister is 100% wrong in this. She has a rather psychotic view as her roll as an aunt
Get him out of your sisters house. She’s not mentally stable.
She owns him??? Is your sister typically unbalanced or is this unusual behavior for her?
Wtf. No.
“She said that, under her house she can do whatever she wants and that when my son is in her house *she owns him* and can act how she pleases.”
I’m sorry, *what*?
Your son already blocked his mother because of what your sister has been saying to him. Get him out of there.
Thoughts? Tell your sister to go fuck herself. She doesn’t own shit and I will be there in an hour, have his bags packed. Thoughts?
Your sister is an abusive piece of shit.
Your sister is a steaming pile of shit.
Involving your son in your relationship woes is child abuse. Your sister needs to back off now. She is not doing your son, or anyone else, any favors. She probably thinks she is helping you while tearing your son apart for her own purposes. Your sister doesn’t have to like what is happening but she needs get your approval for anything she discusses with your son, period. If she cannot abide by this, you need to find someone wiser for your son to stay with during a very difficult time for all involved.
No matter what this could be damaging in court. It is hard because you can’t guarantee your kid would never hear the truth, whether it’s from your sister or a random kid down the street. My 5 year old at the time found out we were getting divorced because her 5 year old cousin overheard his mom talking about it on the phone and he couldn’t wait to tell her her daddy was leaving her and didn’t love her like his daddy left him. That’s how she heard.
That’s the hardest thing about decisions and secrets. They never stay secret and there are always consequences. And while your ex may be totally pissed about this, your son is having some serious feelings about *why* his family was blown the hell up. And he should be allowed to have those feelings. Your sister does need to quit stoking the fire, certainly.
When I got divorced I had his daughter who was 19, our 5 year old and a one year old. Obviously the I told them all was completely different. The 5 year old got the “daddy broke a promise that all married ppl make when they get married. And now we can’t be together because daddy won’t stop breaking his promise.” And the 19 year old got the “your dad has been cheating on me for our entire relationship. I caught him in the act, he is mostly denying it but I have all the proof and unfortunately multiple women sharing info with me at this point. I just hope you know I love you and you’ll always be my daughter even after we are divorced.” And her and I are still closer than her and either of her bio parents, 6 years later.
As my 5 year old got older, like 8/9 she asked for more explanation and I offered her a very G version because I wasn’t trying to confuse her about how she felt about her dad.
My now husband took a totally different approach and told his 7 and 10 year old the shot gun truth about their mom walking out from day one. And he has repeatedly laid that case out since their divorce. Mind you he’s kept it fairly factual and didn’t make it overly emotional but whatever the case, I don’t know that his kids processed it any better. They still love their mom and miss her and can’t quite grasp that she chose to leave them to be with a child rapist.
Your son is grieving. Having your family implode like that is super hard. He probably just needs time but I would look into counseling for him if he’s open to it. No matter how you slice it, realizing one parent cut the other parent like that makes you feel like you have to take sides. Best thing you can do is get counseling and blaze a trail towards healing and show him your life didn’t end because of her choices.
I think all of this depends on how old your son is.
Your sister is awful and you need to actually step up as one of their parents and help them. Not just ship them off somewhere to someone who is emotionally hurting them with information they shouldn’t even know. Your coparent has a huge point about this parental alienation. Hopefully she shows up and picks this child up. Poor kiddo needs therapy to process the wringer they’ve been put through.
Tell your sister to back off.
It’s her house but that’s your child.
Tell her judges don’t like people who interfere in co parenting issues and aren’t the parents.
She owns him?
Wow
That’s foul. She is absolutely going to ruin her relationship with her son. Vile.
She owns him? He’s not property. I highly suggest you go get your son if he’s a minor. She is not his parent and needs to stay in her lane. This will also backfire on you because if she claims parental alienation, this will make you look really bad in court.
Your sister is a piece of shit
Go get your son & bring him home. Your sister is not helping, & is in fact alienating him from his mother and it’s not okay.
This all depends. How old is your oldest son?
Your son should no longer be living with your sister. She owns him?! She clearly has issues and judges can make changes when clear alienation is happening. This is what she’s doing. Be proactive before it’s too late. Irony that he moved in with her to help keep him from the trauma and she literally blankets him with it. Protect him.
Yeah I don’t think this post played out like you thought it would. I would be VERY careful. A judge will not take kindly to your family alienating the mother.
Go get your son. Teach him it is not ok to disrespect his mother. Express that the issue is between you two and not him. Yes, he is affected by this but his mother still loves him.