Partner (30F) seemingly leaving me (28M) because of disease. How to stop feeling resentful?

We’ve been together for \~5 years, no kids and she never displayed interest in having any.

I know it doesn’t matter but for the context she’s an immigrant, who struggled here a lot in the first years and the moment we met I accompanied her on practically every step (I’m aware that such actions don’t guarantee anyone staying with me, I hope I’m acting out of goodwill). After hundreds of applications she finally landed a secure job at a very stable company here. If she didn’t, odds were she’d have to leave the country. We were indescribably happy it worked out.

I kept encouraging her to become more independent and she started doing so in baby steps.A bit later my diagnose of an incurable auto-immune conditions comes in. She doesn’t know what it means first or how to react to it. Our intimate spark gradually declined. I was extremely fit before but the condition’s effect started being more and more noticeable. We still travelled frequently and had a good time. Over the years it’s gotten harder for me to travel. I also have to keep a specific diet which made me much skinnier and she’d express it’s weird for her seeing me so skinny, saying I look like a boy and she wouldn’t recognize me sometimes. After the years she started getting burnt out at her job and she wanted to do something else, she was working hard applying to new companies and going through countless interviews. It worked out, she got an offer in another city with a very high salary. I also encouraged her there saying that I find her personal development most important, if we’re meant to stay, it will work out.

That latest contract highlights she got very successful in her career, I currently don’t match that. I needed to pass a certification exam last summer for my promotion (which I kept delaying since my diagnosis), but as vague as the excuse sounds, with all that’s going on I struggled to pass it. Maybe it was wishful thinking, maybe I’m not at the age or state anymore where I can be productive over 8-10 hours daily – I told her I’ll manage it and I truly believed that, but I didn’t hold my word. I’ll have one last chance to pass next summer.

In the beginning when we found out that she’ll be leaving for the job to another town, talks were about keeping the relationship, visiting each other biweekly and seeing how it goes. Some days ago she expressed to me that she realized she wants to be with someone who’s also as striving in career as her. With the growing income her appetites also grew – she wants to travel even more and further away, not something I can currently match both physically and financially (until promotion). Formally there was no breakup but I can’t help but feel ditched, the last days or weeks she’s here she’s spending with her friends before she moves out.

I understand her, I don’t blame her. She’s been a very reliable and honest person and I’m grateful she didn’t leave at the first sign of trouble years ago. I always told her she’s not responsible for the difficulties I am going through. I had doubts about it working out the moment she told me about moving, long distance relationships never worked out for me. There were also doubts regarding starting a family – as that’s something I still wish for, which was never the case for her.I understand her, but I can’t help feeling left out. And the last thing I want is feeling resentful or bitter towards her, I don’t find those emotions to be very fruitful in life.

Thanks to those who express concerns and support for me battling the condition. I will work out a way to still base my life around it in a somewhat meaningful way. It gives some insecurities about ever meeting someone else though if push comes to shove.

Thank you so much for reading this.

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Edit1: she also mentioned she’s happy about the chance to have a “time off” in another town, to see if she feels like she misses me or not. Making it sounds like the escape she was looking for. That contributes to the impression of her leaving me.