Been a lonely dude since high school and I’ve just used escapism as coping mechanism and never really tried to connect with anyone, I realized I needed to turn my life around and I’ve developed good habits such as exercising and I even started reading books. I also quit alot of the things I got addicted to such as videogames and corn.
I just fear I can’t really connect with anyone at this point since I’m not in school anymore. The only human connection I get is from my parents and I love them but I know one day they’ll be gone and I’ll be alone. I will try my best to change this but I just am so uncertain and I wonder if it’s too late.
Edit: Ty for the helpful inputs, I really needed to get this off my chest.
40 comments
No it is not too late for you. You just had a long break… and during this you didn’t really connect to anyone. So you need to get used to it.
It will take some time but it’s gonna be fine 🙂
It’s not too late ! You already started changing your situation, and it’s amazing ! Plus you’re still young ! Keep it up !
I don’t think it is every too late. Do you have a job? Maybe connect with people there?
Not the answer, but just a side comment.
The harsh truth is MOST likely no one will ever love you like your mom/dad, I didn’t believe in God, but this idea just makes me realise that being able to find a person who loves you as much as your parents or more is just God’s blessing, you can’t do anything to control that.
You can try signing up for classes that have anything to do with your interests. Hang out at places that cater to your hobbies too. Try volunteering somewhere on a consistent basis.
I’m 84 and in my 20s I was still a kid. YES, you have lots of time, LOTS.
Do you have a job? I would say try connecting with your co workers, get to know them better and maybe ask them if they wanna do something when they have time or you can enlist in the military, before you even get shipped out they have PT days with all the recruits that can make it, you all work out together and then at the end they order pizza for everyone to eat and hang out with each other to get everyone to meet each other and become buddies.
That corn do be addicting tho
I also started to read books, and no, I don’t think it’s too late.
My Brother was in a very similar situation he’s a great guy just very introverted whereas my brother and I are more extroverted, he has more hobbies than I do and I think he is genuinely a much nicer person to be around than my other brother and myself yet we have friends and he didn’t. He spoke to me about it and I said I think he needs to travel he was nervous but I watched videos on YouTube and saw that travelling alone is a great character and confidence boosting option. He agreed that he would go away after he had saved up some money he originally planned to go around Europe for a month living frugally and staying in places he would never normally. I got him to join a travelling group on Facebook and he 20 different people in the month many of which are his best friends now. He enjoyed the experience so much he came home for a week completely different and left one week later to go to Africa where he joined a charity in Senegal and helps in the community he came back two years ago has a girlfriend loves his job and regular meet ups with people he’s met along the way.
I’m aware it’s daunting at first, but these are the things that’ll build your confidence massively and even if it didn’t turn out quite aswell as you expected you’ll have your parents still but you’ll have created a great memory and experienced different cultures. Hope this helps.
You quit corn? That’s impressive. [This kid could never.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VbZE6YhjKk&t=1s)
i would advise you to try to overcome this problem and get yourself a good social circle sooner rather than later, the older you get it just gets harder and harder
Try going to meetups in your area.
I am 30 what I have found out is we should not go after people but we should go after our interests and the similar people will fall in
Only way you’re gonna get better is through experience.
​
Most people naturally go through proper socialization during their childhood & teenage years, but in your case this was neglected during the first 20 odd years of your life. It really all comes down to trial & error, which you need to start going through immediatly. That means spending most of your time out of the house among other people. Start going to the library, gym, college campus, concerts, conventions, locals (since you’re into video games) etc.; position yourself to grow familiarity between yourself & others as you frequent these locations. Surrounding yourself with others will subconciously socialize you over time as you practice engaging with those around you.
​
Also try to get a physical hobby & creative hobby that goes beyond just consuming content & entertainment. Something like: Basketball, drawing, painting, hiking, etc.; engage your body & mind so that they stay sharp. Great thing about these kinds of hobbies is that you can also interact & connect with many people this way who also enjoy said hobby. This will allow you to create opportinities for others to hang out with you besides just waiting for someone to grace you with an invitiation.
Even as someone with friends this be relatable af.
Absolutely no dude☺️
No, it’s not too late. I started later than you, and I am doing fine. Join clubs of your interest, talk to strangers on the street and socialize in the gym. Start small but be consistent.
I’m 32 with no friends. Harder to make friends the older I get . I have a hobby I’m extremely passionate about tho so it s not so bad . At least you are still young tho dude … I wish I could be 20 years old again …
If you’re not dead, it’s not too late.
No.
Next question
Never too late mate,. I am 25 was in the same boat for many years. Just keep doing the right things and adopting good habits. It does get better, trust me just don’t fall into that trap of losing hope, things happen when they’re supposed to and self improvement only brings you closer to your ideal life. Just remember it’s a marathon not a sprint!
I found “my people” at 26 when i went to a board game event (wanted to try out board games).
Find a public event where people are doing stuff that also interest you (at least to try it out).
1. Stop the bad habits.
2. Start lifting weights
3. Go to church and read your bible
4. Pick up hobbies
5. Educate yourself pick up med – high income skills
6. Go to the best coffee places or atleast any coffee shop, your goal is to say something to anyone everywhere you go without attachment, give them a compliment, a simple joke, a smile and a question about interests…… Something!!
Do this as a way of life. Everywhere thats part of charisma.
Keep it short and sweet. Don’t overthink.
After a while slowly start building relationships with people that have the same interests with like
In church, at the gym, at the coffee place, sports clubs and build over time. You’ll be set. Read the best books on communication.
And STOP WATCHING CORN.
At 23 I didn’t leave my room for half a year. You have no idea how fast things can change with the right guidance
No, never too late. You are still very young as well. I worked on my social skills getting to know people online. Everything takes practice and that’s no exception. There are countless people out there you can click with. Currently your fear is what is limiting you, the fear is based on self doubt. You are just as good as anyone else, start telling yourself that and believing it.
No you have plenty of time, stop wasting it thinking it’s too late and get to work
Dude
It’s never too late. I’ve moved around a lot & have started my social circle from scratch many times. It can be very lonely but you can always find friendship… you should get the Meetup app, it will show you events in your city and you can meet people there. Good luck<3
Welcome to the club
I struggle with loneliness too. What helps me is to think that I’m better than before even if by a little. Talk a little, baby steps, and be patient with yourself. It’s never too late to grow! You got this 💕
Aww I’m a 22 year old female and I feel the same kinda. The people I were attracting into my life weren’t the best so I had to go into hermit mode and focus on me. Coming out of hermit mode I noticed that a lot of people don’t take time to work on themselves because most people are in survival mode and they’re just going through life so it takes time to find people who are in a position to not only be healthy for themselves but for you as well. Just continue working on you and try going on eventbrite and get tickets to free events that connect you with people like art shows. Try going to conventions, concerts etc. I wish you the best of luck 💙💙
Sounds like you’re off to a good start. The first few months will be tough, but the keyword is habits. Replace every bad habit with things that will increase you.
Aim to chat to 3 people a day, even if it’s just small talk at the groceries or bus stop. Start going out, doing things you have interest in — you’d be surprised who you may meet.
Just don’t relapse, it’s not worth it. You’re stronger than you think.
Just my 2 cents. Wish you all the best <3
You’re on the right track. Now it’s time to enjoy the silence and alone time. Embrace it. Befriend it. You are your best company.
When you’re ready for more human connection go on meetup app for friends not dating unless that’s what you want. Also if you’re going to the gym that’s a great way to meet people.
No. Get involved in anything. Meet people. Stop your inflated expectations and just have fun. Smoke weed.
Just start making money bro. Indulge in this activity day n night. Friends their family,foe,hoe,grillz, everyone will start poping up into your life from nowhere.
It’s good you are alone you won’t need to depend on anyone now just earn some money and live your life fully . You will meet plenty of people, make friends then. Now just focus on yourself.
Did quitting corn do anything for you?
I’m personally still munching on corn too much, was even looking at hard drives to store corn, before it rots away on the internet fields
the fact that you’ve realized this a opted to make a change is all the proof that you’re on the right track… life isn’t easy for us men as a lot is expected of us and i want you to remember that you don’t have to completely give up everything you used to enjoy like video games… instead try to find a balance where you can still do the things you enjoy. As a 24 year old loner myself we all in this together
Yo beans, it’s never too late, friend. I used to be quiet in school, went to college, and met my wife, became very outspoken, and had tons of friends. Now, I have a couple of close friends, and I don’t talk to many people. Best thing you can do is find like-minded individuals and spend time in places you enjoy. If you want to meet someone that suites your particular lifestyle, staying home won’t help. You have to put yourself in uncomfortable situations in order to be comfortable traversing something that used to be scary. I hope you figure it out, but don’t ever give up on yourself.
its never too late. you & i are the same age. im still meeting new people and making new friends. the tough part is having to put urself out there. i think the best advice i can give u is 1. be yourself. the more you are yourself, the more you meet like-minded people. 2. be kind with no expectations. compliment people, be friendly. offer to help people out. i didnt realise this until i turned 23 jus 2 months ago, but you have much more time than you think. its so easy to feel like the world is collapsing in on u when you feel like every1 else is ahead of u, but there’s no race!! just take ur time & be patient w yourself. be kind to urself as well 🙂