My bestfriend and I were really close for over a year, and helped eachother heal from our past experiences. We met up one night, got some drinks, went to the beach and cuddled underneath my jacket as it was cold, while listening to our favourite music. She kissed me, after 5 or so seconds I stopped it and said we shouldn’t. She agreed. She then kissed me again and we made out for a lot longer and she wanted to sleep with me. I told her we shouldn’t. We went back to her place and cuddled, she wanted me to get a boner and make a move on her, again, I told her we shouldn’t. She did agree every time we shouldn’t, shortly later in the morning since we were still up, she said it was a mistake, and asked if we’re all good. I said of course because I thought we were genuinely friends and she had a boyfriend. She said she wanted space from me and wanted to forget about it, which confused me. After a couple of days I tried talking to her about it, to make sure we are all good and it had nothing to do with her attractiveness. She ended up blocking and removing me from everything.
What did I do wrong? She initiated it every time but I only turned her down because she probably didn’t have feelings for me and she had a boyfriend. I didn’t want to be that friend who cared for her to get with her, so it does hurt not knowing what I did wrong to her. Understanding what I did wrong would help me to move on, I genuinely cared for her.
TL;DR my bestfriend wanted to get with me after kissing me a couple of times, we were both drunk and she had a boyfriend so I turned her down. Why did she remove me on all social media when even she said it was a mistake the following morning? Didn’t i do the right thing?
15 comments
Sadly it sounds like she chose to burn that bridge between you two because of what happened. It’s painful but it sounds like you need to let that friendship go. Likely she is horrified or embarrassed about what she did with you. And is likely trying to avoid her bf finding out. Or she told him and the condition of staying together was cutting you off. Either way, sorry man.
She’s probably just embarrassed
Sounds like she was ashamed, reasonably, and burned the bridge.
You know you did the right thing. She might have done the best she could as well, after the fact.
It is sad. There is nothing you can do about it. Let it go.
She has feelings for you and either doesn’t want to leave her bf for you because she thinks you don’t like her (or like her enough), or she thinks you like her back and is torn between liking both of you and so decided to block you so that she is removing temptation from herself.
It’s pretty selfish of her to:
a) cheat on her bf by kissing you, and then
b) block you when you reject her.
That’s not the type of person you want to be in a relationship with (if that’s what you’re thinking you want from her). Nor for a friendship. It can be excused a bit because you’re both young (i.e. a 30 year old acting like this would be much much worse).
So my advice would be to move on and look for someone else. I know that it hurts to lose a friend/potential love interest but she’s acting with complete disrespect for the feelings of those she should be cherishing.
I would hazard to guess she may feel either mortified at the thought she almost cheated and is ghosting you because or that, OR she assumes you were the instigator and is burning a bridge because she doesn’t trust you.
when you turn a woman down for sex, they take it super personal. like, you cease to exist personal. and any mention of you from then on will be met with scorn and venom, forever and ever. guys, well, we get over it and move on when a chick shoots us down. women, well, they just cant understand a guy saying no to the one thing they are told every man wants. if he is gay, well, maybe she gets over it. if he is straight, no fucking way is she ever getting over it again.
Because she was drunk and has a boyfriend and tried to cheat on him with her best friend but got rejected. How dare you try to make her realize she’s being a drunk sl*t and turn her down lol
But no, seriously, you are just as at fault as she is (although she was wayyy more wrong). She crossed the line by even being that close to you and kissing you knowing she had a bf. YOU should have stopped it right there and then and left her alone for the rest of the night. But you didnt. That gave her the impression that you were actually down to fool around and cross that line completely. The fact that you chickened out probably pissed her off and turned her off from you. Therefore she decided to erase your relationship completely, probably out of guilt, shame, anger, or resentment.
Best friends do not cuddle and kiss on the beach
She’s ashamed and probably feels rejected. Instead of dealing with the problem like an adult, she choose the childish route. You probably saved yourself from a huge headache… her actions or lack thereof prove it. Good luck in the future!
Most likely she’s ashamed of what you guys did, and embarassed at being rejected afterward.
It’s sad that it happened this way but it’s not likely you’ll be able to go back to the way things were.
You didn’t do anything wrong. Either she’s mortified, or she realized she cannot resist the temptation and doesnt want to risk cheating on her bf again.
My best guess is that she told her boyfriend and he (obviously) told her to cut you off.
She doesn’t want you telling her boyfriend she’s a cheating little …….
Already probably told him that you made a move on her.
She’s scared you’re going to tell her boyfriend that he’s wasting his life with a wannabe cheater.
She likely feels ashamed because she was turned down. Also feels like shit because she cheated. Lots of times when people feel this way, they run away from the issue. So that’s what she’s doing. However, it’s a dick move.
I say move on and don’t speak to her until she contacts you. You’ve done nothing wrong. If she values your relationship, she needs to make the first step. If she doesn’t, well the universe just helped you avoid further drama in your life.
yikes both of you need some help.. You knows she has a boyfriend and it happened multiple times and you cuddled with her??? What is wrong with you. I don’t know you said we shouldn’t but you kissed back… you could’ve been more like absolutely not this isn’t okay. Her poor boyfriend you should tell him. I know you probably won’t but