Is anyone else in that weird spot in their life where they’re living back with their parents to save money? There’s nothing wrong with it! It’s smart in the long run, I know that. But it’s definitely a weird feeling after being on my own for 2 years.
When it comes to dating, I don’t feel comfortable bringing guys to their house at all. Even if it’s just to hang out, it’s weird to me. I have old school Italian parents who still give me my freedom, but yet they would never let me share a bed with someone under their roof, unless we were engaged/married.
So if I were to date someone who also lives at his parents, that’s where it gets tricky. I wouldn’t want to write someone off just because they’re also trying to save money like me, but I’m not sure how you ever really get privacy in that situation.
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Since you are dating men this will pretty much be a non issue, it’s only a major roadblock the other way around in terms of finding dates. Most men especially in the late 20’s and early 30’s range will have their own place in some form or another so just go to their place.
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I feel like at 25 the only people who would be interested in someone living at home is someone in the same position, which is uncomfortable at best for sex and at worst the same scenario as yours, in which case the miney youd spend on motels defeats the purpose of saving unless youre down with car sex.
Sort of similar but not really – My partner and I have been together around 7 months, I live with a landlady and he has a parent living with him due to caring for them. Same deal, we don’t like the feeling of having someone else around when we want to be intimate, nor be in the other housemate’s space by having someone over. (Let’s be honest, if we’re at home we don’t want to feel like we constantly have a guest over, right?)
Every month when we get paid we have a little ‘weekend’ away (even though it’s usually just one evening) and spend one night in a hotel. It’s nice, we get time away with eachother and it’s easier to feel connected when it’s just us. Yep it totally sucks because we can’t just have the other person over when we want, but we deal with it 😅
Also going out or eating out is expensive, so sometimes we just cosy up in the back of his car with a blanket and watch a movie or some TV shows and just spend time together. Would be lovely if it was our own living room or something but you just make do if you want to spend time with someone!
Most guys won’t care.
Women could care if a guy lived with his parents
You might want to date others in a similar situation. Unfortunately they maybe younger. Is there some reason you can’t move out and find roommates?
I have the same issue when my children stay with me. They realllly are uncomfortable with me having male friends stay the night. Much more so than I would be if they had someone stay the night.
It’s common in my country. What’s wrong in that?
It’s tough, you’re not alone lol. Being a guy that’s 25, I already know that living with my parents heavily limits my dating prospects. Of course I wanna move out and live on my own, but I gotta save up this money and finish school. I’m just leaving it alone for now since there’s really no point.
I just don’t bring guys to my moms- that would make me super uncomfy. All of the guys I’ve dated since I moved back with her have had their own places where we could hang out if need be. (Not that I’d count out someone in my same position btw.) I’d file that under “cross that bridge when you come to it” sort of problems. If you’re dating and just so happen to be super into someone who lives at home as well , then you guys can figure out an arrangement that works for you both. I wouldn’t worry about it preemptively though. A lot of ppl our age do life with parents but I’d say it’s more common for people to live alone or with roommates so odds are you’ll probably meet someone with their own place anyways.
far more men in the world than women will overlook this
When I was younger, my then boyfriend and I would rent a hotel room every two weeks in our respective cities. Any person I’ve had sex with these days lives alone or with roommates, so it’s been much easier and cheaper to hook up and get some privacy. But yes, definitely a weird spot. But I’m halfway to my financial goal, so hopefully in the next year I can buy and fuck in peace
You’d have far more trouble with this if you were on the other side, don’t sweat it. Men who don’t live at home will continue to pursue you just like they already are. I’m a dude and I moved out at 21 specifically because my mom was placing rules on my already year-long relationship at the time. I didn’t even move back home when I was needing surgery and couldn’t really walk anymore, because I still wanted to be free to date and have a place of my own. My life would be so much easier right now at 29 to move back home and save up some more money after being out of work for a year, but I’m not giving up my place, it will ruin my dating opportunities. Women seem to much prefer me to be broke and still have a place for hang out privately than have more money but have to tip-toe around parents.
It appears you’re asking about the limited scenario in which you and a guy like each other, but you both live with your parents right now.
I see four tools available to you:
1. Make sure there is good kissing established.
2. Have fun laughing at yourselves for being in high school again.
3. Plan a short road trip + hotel/Air BnB, for a sex date when it’s clear that you both want it to happen.
4. Like #2, above, if you bring each other home to meet your parents, bring parents into the funniness of laughing as if it’s high school days.
ETA: if one or both of you have a cool friend, maybe they will let you have their home forvz night so you can your sex date there.
Yup same spot here. 25m living at home right now as I’m switching careers about to go back to school again and need to save money.
I think it’s important to know which house is more accepting of having the significant other over and which levels of intimacy you can show in which house. Maybe at your house it’ll be more old school dynamics and at their house (if their parents are a little more free shall we say) then you can be more intimate. Depending on costs can always have an air bnb get away once in a while. You can ask them how much freedom they have at their parents house and see where convo goes from there. Me personally, it’s like living with roommates and I’m good to bring over a girl anytime and share my bed. It can definitely be challenging though if both your parents and his are similar.
When I was a teen, my ex’s family was catholic Italian so I can understand the challenge. Our solution was when I was over, it was usually us hanging out with her family (rarely one on one time) then when she was here we had more freedom to do things. It can be a bit tricky finding a balance, but if you two are on the same page it can work!