Been seeing a guy these last few weeks. Things got very serious very fast – we spent a crazy amount of time together and by our third date he was telling me how much he liked me. Our intimacy and closeness has been off the charts – many nights spent together having deep conversations in bed, talking about our fears, passions, ambitions – you name it.
Today though, I decided to end it. I realised that I couldn’t see him as part of my future (for various reasons I won’t get into), and because I’m toward the end of my 20’s, I’m having to think of the longer term with dating rather than just something temporary and fun.
For some reason though, when I told him this I was so taken aback by how much he was in agreement. I felt my ego being bruised so badly. It’s crazy to think how much I wanted him to disagree – despite knowing this would make things harder for me in the long run. Deep down I wanted him to fight for me and feel sad about me ending things? But it turns out he was completely on the same page, and now I’m so hurt over it? I’m aware of the fact that I shouldn’t feel this way, but I can’t help it. Not sure how to process these feelings.
29 comments
Because you’re more of a narcissist than you thought you were.
You were just as disposable in his life as he was in yours.
I mean this in the nicest way possible, but maybe you should figure out yourself and what you want before involving other people. The whole “I ended it with him, but he wasn’t supposed to” thing comes off very childish.
Rejection can hurt both sides! Maybe he was just agreeing because it hurt his feelings- BUT even if he was on the same page, just process that this is over and go in with your life. You didn’t want him in it anyways.
Deep down we are often still childish. Then we want to be the greater and better person in some situation. You wanted to move on with a feeling of being desirable and wanted, leaving a guy who is not willing to let you go. Then you would have been the better one, the one who is worth more or whatever.
But this dude had self-respect and knew his worth. He probably wasn’t on the same page, but he accepted your decision and instantly moved on. There is no point in fighting for a woman who decides to end things. He rather kept his dignity and let you walk away.
You can try to feel glad that you didn’t break his heart. Be happy for him, that he has so much going on for him, that he can move on like that. You might actually have felt worse, if things went as you expected.
So you thought you would hurt him? You got some ego on you. You end it, and you what? Expect him to be devastated? Beg for you to keep him? It sounds like you might have some unresolved mental issues or think too highly of yourself.
Rip bozo
Hard truth? He had his fun and you gave him the perfect out. And it bruised your ego because you thought his value was somehow beneath yours.
Even if he wanted to fight, why would he? He knew it was over so what’s the point. I’m sure he cared but reacted this way for his ego
This is pathetic.
He knew how you felt. He was ready, because he could tell you didn’t think he was good enough for you. You made him feel like he wasn’t food enough for you. Most men with any self worth, would be happy to move on, rather than to be looked down upon.
Well it’s seems like you both were in agreement to the short FWBs or Situationship, I actually feel bad for the next guy, he gonna be compared to your lil crazy sexy love fling; he basically has an up hill battle. Good luck tho’✌🏾
Yeah you should probably not date for awhile until you can understand this is not normal emotional response. Like at all
How amazing did you think you were?
You did him a favor. Men no longer chase women who dump them. Why spend the effort on someone who doesn’t want you? Now you complain he didn’t feed into your b.s. mind games. You may want to re think doing this b.s. again the next time you meet someone who likes you, makes the effort to spend quality time together and likes to have healthy discussions about life with you.
Im going to be brutally honest here. It seens like you viewed yourself as better than him. It also seems like you may have an ego problem. You knew it wasnt right for you for whatever reason even though you had a great connection so you eneded it. Thats all good, but clearly you would rather he was hurt and broken in order to satisfy your own ego at being fought for or desired then him agreeing and leaving you amicably because that contradicts with your ego saying that you were the prize.
You really need to think long and hard about your attitude to dating and other people I feel.
Damn, was not expecting this ending. Yall seemed like soul mates.
The reason why ur so hurt is because you thought you would break his heart by ending things but because he played the uno reverse card and didnt care or begged you to stay, he actually hurt you instead. Youre not hurt that things end, youre hurt because you didnt hurt him.
He landed a fatal blow to your ego.
What’s hurting right now is your ego. And it’s valid, but it will pass.
Rejection breeds obsession.
Maybe you were use to guys that didn’t have self respect, boundaries, or needed a woman to feel validation?
I don’t say this to be rude at all. When you ended things with other guys in the past, did they chase, beg, and got all needy?
I’m going to give you some honesty from the male perspective: why would he fight for your love if you won’t?
I’m not saying this to make you doubt yourself, or invalidate your reasoning. But the reality is that love only works when two people are all in. Good on anyone who knows this and acts accordingly.
lol get rekt
You sound like an enneagram type 4. They are prone to push-pull relationship dynamics and are attached to the feeling of longing.
Main Character syndrome
Looking for a serious guy myself here. Give me his info because I keep missing out on the good ones. Your loss is someone else’s gain
My man dodged a narcissistic bullet.
It’s uncanny how you both clicked so well and then unclicked at the same time. Don’t blame yourself for being surprised, I was too when I read this.
Doesn’t sound like things were so “amazing” as you described. Sounds like that man has options.
But I’m sure in your 40s or 50s you’ll be the type of woman to divorce your husband and kids because you don’t “feel it anymore” instead of working things out. Sounds like he came out with a W to me.
So glad to see men with self-respect and knows his worth.
Men always get told in movies and shows and culture to always chase after the woman even if she says no.
That’s led to really bad toxic things happening. Whether it’s as mild as being completely subservient to every whim of the woman or as terrible as raping and forcing themselves onto the woman.
To all the kings out there. Be true to yourself and to her. Don’t beg. Don’t grovel. Don’t stalk. There will come an enthusiastic yes.
Hahaha it’s hard to feel sympathy: you literally got what you asked for sis.
I know your ego is bruised right now because you lost your fun new lil toy and also realized you’re replaceable as well.
Use it as another lesson and move forward!
I believe someone when they tell me they don’t want me, every time.
Instantly makes me lose all interest in them as well.