FR. Close friends are too pushy, want you to be their therapist, expect too much from you, will use you as a pillow if you’re both women, they try to change you, etc. One always values the friendship more than the other. Casual friends don’t get into that shit. It’s just hanging out to socialize and nothing more. I’ve had fun and had the least amount of problems. That’s my two cents.
3 comments
I understand your point, but isnt it good to have friends to rely on?
It depends on what your priorities are. You seem to have it figured out that you only want superficial fun and socialization. Others want a deeper connection. If that’s the case, then you def are better off just finding casual friends. Also, by the way you worded this, it sounds like mainly you don’t want to be a close friend, rather than that you don’t want to have close friends. Considering this, yes, you should do the responsible thing and only have casual friends.
The older I get, the more I am starting to agree with this. I always said that it’s important to have different groups/kinds of friends – party friends, hobby friends, casual acquaintances, and a *few* close friends. Casual friends get a bad rap, but they are important and can actually add to the quality of your life, at least I’ve found this. Someone you can grab a drink with and engage in light conversation, some laughs.
The older I’m getting, the more I’m being treated as a free therapist and receptacle for trauma dumping from close friends. I’m sick of it, and have actually distanced myself from some of them. Some people really like to bond through trauma and hardship.
On the flipside, I really would like to have at least one like-minded “3am Friend” that I could have a mutually-rewarding friendship with.