My (19F) partner (19NB) either talks to me for hours on end or does not talk for days at a time. I’d be understanding as they are not always in the best mental states, however, they constantly seem to have one rule for me and one rule for everyone else. They seem to be able to talk to everyone except me (..yes…I have my ways of knowing..), they’re actively using social media while not even leaving me on seen. It hurts a lot, I constantly bend backwards at their will. Sleepless nights just to accompany them in their insomnia.
They did not have access to the internet for two weeks or so and messaged me via text. Now they have access to the internet, I have been pushed to the sidelines in favour of communicating with friends online. I’ve been afraid of them getting access to the internet again for this reason alone and tried to make the most of the texts and calls I otherwise would not have recieved. I’ve mentioned this and they pushed it down and said that this isn’t the case. Quite frankly, I do not believe them. I’m tired of crying and getting upset like am I seriously that insufferable? I can’t get my mind off this. (We are long distance with not as much opportunity for meeting up).
Idk if this is normal and I’m overreacting or what…
TLDR: I’m tired of constantly feeling like the second option to go to when other options have either been exhausted or are unavailable.
1 comment
There’s not really a solution to this unless your partner is willing to acknowledge it. Maybe there’s something about the relationship making them anxious and avoidant. Or maybe it’s the opposite, and they feel more comfortable setting a boundary with you and struggle to say no to friends. But regardless of what it is, it’s clearly hurting you, and if they can’t discuss what it is that makes conversations with you different from conversations with friends, then the two of you can’t problem solve it.
The solution is not to just “be more understanding.” You’re unhappy and your needs are not being met. You deserve a relationship where your partner communicates with you and works with you to resolve misunderstandings. Not one where they simply deny your feelings and tell you they aren’t real.