I 23M am on one week of no contact with a girl 21F I’ve been seeing for the past 4 months. We are long-distance, and both full-time college students with busy schedules, so we only had a handful of dates during this time. The dates were incredible when we were together. However, after spending NYE together, things seemed to change a bit. She kept a high interest over text but started to become a bit flaky in her behavior. We got in a bit of an altercation after she flaked on me last minute as I was already driving to see her. This resulted in me calling out her flaky behavior. She assumed I was asking for a relationship with her at this point, which she said she wasn’t ready for. I told her I wasn’t ready for one either and that it was still casual. I told her wanted to continue to see her, and that a relationship was something I was open to in the future if we were both ready. She agreed to that and we kept talking and everything seemed normal. I invited her to come to see me 2 weeks ago, which she enthusiastically agreed to, but asked to reschedule the night before the date. I told her I was busy on the rescheduled day she suggested, and that I wanted to keep our original plans. She never responded to that. A week went by with no word from her, but she was actively posting on social media during this week. Now here’s the part where I know I made a big mistake. Despite her ignoring me, I asked her out on valentines day. She had told me previously it was her favorite holiday and that she’s never had a valentine, so I’ve been wanting to ask her. I made her a little card and invited her to dinner. No response.

In hindsight, it’s clear now that I doubled down when she was already pulling away, and I’m sure that only made things worse. It’s really frustrating because I know there was a period of time when she was chasing me, she was making all the date plans, double texting me constantly, etc. She was the one who liked me first, and I know she had feelings for me. But when I started catching feelings, and she started pulling away, I started over-pursuing, and I know I fucked up.

I have removed my attention completely. I unfollowed her on socials and haven’t viewed her stories for a week. She still follows me on everything, but I’m rarely active on socials. Over this past week I’ve been trying to take the energy I put into her, and put it all into myself. Because I realized I started focusing less on myself and more on her, which I’m sure she could sense. I’ve been staying super active and focusing on my hobbies. I’m hoping that going no contact indefinitely and removing all my energy from her will re-spark the interest that she had, but I don’t know If I killed that chance completely.

1 comment
  1. This seems like you have always been the second opinion I can’t completely understand being busy and having to reschedule but last minute now that’s okay once or twice things happen but this is a recurring issue this shows she isn’t interested or just simply doesn’t respect you even to tell you what’s really happening or what’s wrong why would you want to rekindle anything with her you said it yourself your not interested in a relationship at the moment surely you have enough self respect for yourself to just completely drop her “yeah maybe she will hit you up again and you will have a wonderful date like before but in the end doesn’t seem like you was ever a priority” just enjoy what you had and focus on yourself

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