Does therapy help? Why are women constantly complaining men need therapy?

25 comments

1. It helped me a lot when I was struggling.

   Doesn’t mean it’s necessary for everyone, but it was necessary for me.

2. No idea. I’ve seen and heard of people going to therapy. But never “recovered or healed” due to therapy. They just keep going and going and going with no end in sight. Which doesn’t seem like a good thing to me.

   This is just my experience so there’s probably more positive experiences out there than mine.

3. It can help, yes. It does depend on whether you find a good therapist, and it does depend on whether you’re able to talk openly in a safe place about how you’re feeling. It only works if you’re willing to put in the work, same as any other form of self-improvement. It’s never easy, but it’s often worth it.

   I haven’t heard any of the women in my life complaining about men needing therapy. Sometimes I’ve heard men and women say that a particular person needed therapy, that was about it.

   For me, I did it of my own accord because I felt horrible and wanted to feel less horrible. I’m still here and still want to see tomorrow, and a major reason for that is because I asked for help when I needed it.

4. Men do need therapy. Men’s mental health crisis is at worst. A emotionally well being man will actually not tolerate a lot of bullshit dished out in life. The biggest primary cause men’s declining mental is lack of strong fathers in their childhood and the resulting effects of social anxiety, lonelines, lack of self confidence and inferior complex.

5. Complaining….or trying ro be supportive?

6. We all need therapy. Women just as much as men.

7. It 100% does. It’s a great space to get stuff off your chest. Don’t think you’re too manly to have feelings or to be anxious about things. A therapist can help you think about things, consider your options, and is a great neutral space to think things through.

   If you do start going to therapy, understand it takes time and it might take some time to find someone you fit well with.

8. Short answer yes.

   Ability to open up, listen to our feelings/emotions. But, I’m a dude so you might want to ask a woman.

9. It’s not for me.

10. I don’t think all men need therapy, I think they might be projecting.

11. I have a therapist and people on Reddit still are always like “see a therapist” because that’s just how people talk online when they don’t like something about you lol. But yes it helps in real life.

    And as far as why women apparently always say men need therapy? My guess would be the amount of men who have ptsd but would never admit that while also complaining about how they won’t show emotions because as a kid they were scarred into thinking it was wrong to be a human being. That’s just a guess though, asking a woman why women do things would probably get you a better answer though.

12. I tried. My therapist was clueless. I stopped after 1/2 a dozen sessions. I’m doing better without him.

13. not all men need therapy, but yes it can work if the person is interested in getting help.

    But if they aren’t , then no amount of talking is going to help.

14. A good therapist does wonders.

    Therapy only works if you can answer questions honestly and be okay with being uncomfortable.

    It is common to meet a few therapists before finding one who you get along with.

    In my case the single largest benefit I got out of working with my therapist was his knowledge of early childhood development and trauma.

    I had some things happen to me when I was very young. Between 2 and 4 years old. Apparently when people specifically children experience trauma before we develop language, it gets internalized and and processed in a majorly different way than after language is developed.

    I do not think that I ever would have realized that I was subconsciously pushing people away because I was protecting myself from a concern that getting close to them would hurt me.

    My therapist was able to string together enough context clues and ask me enough clarifying questions to figure out generally what happened. I was unable to ask some of those questions to my parents. They then confirmed some things. And all of a sudden my whole life made sense. It was a fucking trip that took me about 18 months to fully processing and become aware of how I was acting.

    Obviously the generality of women saying that men need therapy is bullshit. Everyone needs therapy. People who think they don’t need therapy need it the most. Even therapists have therapists. Unlike a mechanic who works on their own car, or a plumber who installs their own water heater, some issues people need someone outside of them to see.

    One of the biggest Social Challenges in America is how men are told to suppress their trauma and ignore it. The common Trope is, suck it up soldier. I could go down the rabbit hole of how the last thing the American government wants is Veterans coming home and openly talking about all the fucked up things that they did for the government in other countries and other people. I won’t though.

15. Why are women constantly complaining men need therapy? I think a good number of women are projecting their psychological troubles onto men. I don’t need therapy, men need therapy, is the take of some women.

16. bc theyre all in therapy and dont want to feel like theyre the only ones with issues. like how drinkers never want to drink alone

    look if you go to therapy and it helps you, thats wonderful. but this edict that some women have that everyone needs to go and keep going forever is nonsensical and even therapists will tell you that unless you have some underlying mental condition then you dont need constant, neverending therapy. i suspect some women say it simply bc they dont want to listen to their men’s issues.

    “honey im struggling at work with my new boss. hes such an asshole”

    “go tell your therapist”

    women would rather watch bass fishing on tv all day than listen to a man vent

17. Therapy is an amazing thing. But, it isn’t a good fit for everyone. And, it’s not beneficial for someone not open to it.

18. It totally depends. Do you actually want help and to fix things? If so then yeah therapy can help. If not then no it’ll be a waste of money for you.

19. Therapy is a non judgemental sandbox where you can let your mind run wild and let out your deepest, darkest thoughts with less consequences than in society.

20. If the therapist is good and the patient is sincere, then yea it helps. For me, what I got from my therapist was just good information and insight to my behavior. Simply knowing that allowed me to make change, if I wanted to. Ultimately any change was up to me, I just needed someone to help me understand myself and others a little better.
    Here is a good way to look at it. Say a dude is a good athlete, fit and capable at pretty much any physical activity. But he has never played basketball. So you put him in his first basketball game and explain only the basic rules, at best he will do okay, but will probably make a lot of mistakes. But if he spends time with a good coach who teaches him to see how he is playing the game and how that impacts other players. It gives him a better understanding of the game and will enable him to play better if he wants to.
    That’s the role of a good therapist, to deliver good information to help understand the game. What we do with this information is completely up to us. This is obviously speaking more in regards to more regular/typical people and not for the mentally ill or insane.

21. I think most people need therapy, men and women, but women are more likely to seek help. I know I was afraid to admit I needed help or take an honest look at myself for a long time. Therapy does make a difference.

22. My personal opinion: people that need in the most won’t get it or won’t spend the money on it.

    My personal experience: I was just stuck in the same rut mentally and couldn’t pull myself together. I was in a bad place and needed the therapy to help me sort out my mind. Going into the future, I don’t let my mind get to the same low before spending the money on it. However, my experience with therapy has helped me grow as a person to realize that there are things I can do before and after I seek therapy to make sure I’m ready for it and I’m spending my money well. There comes a point where we the patient have to help the therapist help us, in a sense. I do believe there are people that don’t need therapy, but I also believe that most people can benefit from it, even if they think they won’t. It’s about the vulnerability too, it’s a very specific mindset to allow yourself into.

23. Generally, yes. It depends on the problems you’re having, and whether you’re seeing the right doctor. Medical issues might need a prescription for medication (some issues are based in brain chemistry or similar physiological issues). But others might just need someone to listen to you, and offer guidance. I’ll say, as someone who’s issues weren’t medical in nature, it helped a tremendous amount to just sit down and talk about what was going through my head, without worrying that the listener was someone who might judge me or use the information against me.

    There is a general trend of men avoiding therapy, possibly due to old machismo habits. Going to therapy can be seen as “admitting” that there’s something wrong with you, and the old toxic masculine way of doing things has been “never show weakness or admit that you’re in pain where someone can see you”. This is hopefully becoming less common, but stereotypes are often slow to catch up.

24. Men’s mental health is an epidemic, if not a pandemic. Therapy would work wonders in helping to solve the problem.

    A man who is in a good mental state makes life better for everyone around him, including women. A rising tide lifts all boats.

25. My ex (he was 42m at the time, and I was 39F) would spend much of our time together saying “I’m a piece of shit… You should leave me… You’re better off without me… I’m a waste of space… I’m fucking useless… You deserve better… I don’t have a clue what I’m doing… It’d be better if I just disappeared off the face of the earth… You’re better off without me…”

    I felt he needed mental health help, and urged him to seek therapy. This was both for his sake and mine, as I found him draining to be around. We were only together for 10 months and he was like that from month 2 onwards.

    He said he didn’t want therapy, and if he was a real man with a pair of balls he should be able to sort himself out… but he couldn’t or wouldn’t do this. Finally I said I wanted him to get therapy, or I would leave him. He said fine, leave him, he knew I would leave, because he’s fucking useless, a waste of air, etc. For my own sanity, I left him. Last I heard, a couple of years later, he was still just as miserable.

    One reason why guys need therapy is because suicide is one of the leading causes of death for men. And there are many more, like my ex, who live unnecessarily miserable lives; if they had therapy, their lives could be better for everyone.