So we got married 2 months ago, so I am 30F and my husband is 35M.
I am kind of childish and my friends are too of same level. Now my husband’s friends, even my husband talk very what I can say stuff with double meaning which am kind of not comfortable. And they all smoke and I don’t, but I do drink only on some events or outings. So after I met them once I told my husband I will join only for any events. I would like to add they are all great.
My husband works on night shift so he works from 6 PM to 3 AM and I work a 9-5 job. He works from home and i go to office. So he meets his friends on weekends.
So here’s few issues that I had and kind of am gloomy and not talking much with husband –
1. During night sleep time I go to bed alone and I have requested him it would be good if once he logsoff join me. I will be asleep but I would like to wake up with him on bed. But he told he can’t sleep as soon as he hits bed and he need some “me time” before sleeping. I am ok with it. He logoff by 4 AM and watches some series before sleep but that takes upto 8 AM, by that time I wake up and usually am alone in bed. Now I am sad that he can’t even consider about my feelings. I know u need ur own space but I am sure he gets ample of that(not lying …. he gets time after waking up… he uses his mobile in washroom… before logging in… after logoff ). Mostly weekend are same. He do sleep with me but he wakes up at midnight and go out and do his stuff as he says he don’t want to build that habit of sleeping early.
2. When I met his friends, I saw that he shared a electric cigarette(i dont know whats that called other than this) from his friend. I kind of felt its bad for hygiene and I hinted it to him. Later I got to know that they share cigarettes within friends and I felt I am not ok with that. Few are female friends so I was not comfortable with that.
I know that they are friends from long that and as he told this happens with many friends circle but I don’t feel comfortable in that. And I told him if he could consider and not share on future.
I feel bad that I asked him to do that.
Other than the above points I really don’t have any issues with him. He is really very supportive, likes to pamper me, if I want to eat anything he gets it for me, even sometimes surprises me with his attentiveness for my likings. I have some health issues, he is very considerate about that and avoids the things that I can’t have. I would not think we are incompatible, it’s just a minor block, I want to know how to communicate on that.
Please note we had arrange marriage.
I am not able to talk about this to anyone else. I dont have any siblings and I don’t want to let my immediate families know about such small issues.
I belive these can be communicated and resolved. If I am wrong I would like to apologize to him.