I’m (31F) getting dates but I noticed that I can’t get the second date, as in they will just stop responding.
So, I decided to assess the things that happened in my previous dates.
Is not giving a hug a sign that I’m not interested? I’m feeling this is the reason they think I’m not interested. I don’t give a hug to someone I just met, it’s weird. But if they initiate it, I would hug back.
OR
Maybe not planning the 2nd date on the first date gives the vibe of not being interested? I noticed that guys would drop hints while we were talking that we should go to this XXX place next time, and I would just nod (but in my head, I want to focus on the present, so I kind of dismiss the idea).
Also, I don’t follow the weird texting rule, I text when I want. I would respond to text if I can give my full attention to it. I text people after the date, not after days, hours. So not sure what I’m doing wrong OR am I doing something wrong. lol
I have a personal rule: always go on a 2nd date (as long as the dude is not weird). The first date/meeting is to gauge if you’re at least a decent human being or the same as the photo.
Any tips from anyone?
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Tips ON getting that second date
3 comments
Based on what I read it sound like you are boring and uptight on these dates. A man wants to be around a fun, engaging, exciting woman. Best advice I can give you is to loosen up and try to be more fun.
Zero physical contact on a date tells me there’s no chemistry there. It’s pretty normal to at least hug. Have you tried the classic “we should do this again sometime” at the end of the date, to gauge interest?
IMO (and this may sound harsh) it’s possible there’s something off about your energy or presence that’s not attracting men to want to see you again for another date.
Based on how you’ve described yourself, it might help to do a little research on what feminine qualities men find attractive, or how men like to feel around women they’re attracted to. I’m a woman but I find men respond to me better on dates when I’m aware of his visual nature in how I’m dressing and carrying myself, open, approachable, high-energy, fun, receptive (including acknowledging in the moment “oh that date idea sounds fun! love that!” so he feels good about doing/planning things for me), appropriately affectionate, positive… otherwise it’s like being out with a work friend. Hope everything works out for you!