How Do You Look Present While Out Alone?

6 comments

1. This is hard, you don’t want to try to be approachable to everyone… I’d wear a T-shirt or sweater that has something you’re interested in on it and people who also like that thing will strike up a conversation with you

2. When you’re with friends, how often do you approach the person who’s alone drinking or on their phone and start a conversation with them? I would imagine very rarely.

   You need to approach people. “Success” (obviously subjective) when going out alone usually looks like:

   – Being friendly and energetic with everyone—ideally find a core group who you can spend time with
   – Bring value to the group (read: positive emotions, not monetary value like buying drinks)—in general I like to make people laugh. If there’s any guys, I’ll sometimes offer to wingman for any of them because most guys are shy to approach but eager to mingle.
   – Become super inclusive–make sure the whole group is having a good time, and start inviting new people or groups to come join.

   I [wrote a longer post](https://old.reddit.com/r/socialskills/comments/10ulqbs/i_went_to_3_bars_alone_yesterday_with_the/j7dr9kl/) with some more details.

   I know this wasn’t exactly your question, but I don’t think there’s any amount of “present” you can be that will get you what you’re looking for. Best I could offer there would be: just stay off your phone and look up, ideally with a smile, while you sip your drink.

3. Well id say that if you re alone then you are supposed to be the approaching one. Aand trick is being open to any one. The bartender the waitress even the homeless guys. Like i can talk to beggars and its pretty interesting i offer them a cigarette and smoke one together. Its a 5 minute convo but i guess its practice.

4. you should look at people around and smile, it help you calm down and enjoy the ambient too

5. dance floor

6. If the bar is not too busy, you can talk to the barkeeper.