How to get a girlfriend as a introvert, lonely and shy person?

5 comments

1. Work on your self n find ways to mack it.

2. You can’t “get a girlfriend” by isolating yourself. You are an antisocial recluse. You need to get out of your gaming chair and start working on your social skills. Participate in life. Make friends. Build a social circle. Connect with people.

3. You need to work on your entire social life. There are exceedingly few women who are willing to date someone who doesn’t have or want friends or other people in their life. You seem to want a girlfriend to solve your loneliness problem, but that’s just going to lead to codependency if you’re ever able to find someone who doesn’t dismiss you out of hand.

   You say you don’t want to connect with people, but guess what, that’s exactly what having a girlfriend is, connecting with someone. A girlfriend isn’t going to act as a living antidepressant.

4. I would say to find ways to build your confidence. Set goals, get that mindset in, find hobbies you enjoy doing, etc.

   Confidence is key, and when a girl sees a confident man, she’ll like that he knows who he is, and what his goals are. Just don’t be the overly confident type that acts all cocky.

5. I’m super introverted and anxious but I was able to follow some steps in order to get out more, and now I’m happily engaged. I also managed to make a lot of new friends this way too!

   Step 1) make a list of things you’re interested in.

   Here’s mine: cooking, roller skating, photography, ping pong or street tennis, photography, pottery, painting, reading, movies and tv, card games

   Step 2) research places to go in your area that you can participate in these activities. You don’t even have to leave Reddit to do it. Find your city/towns r/ and start seeing what other ppl are doing

   Here’s mine: cooking classes/workshops, skating rinks(parks, skate shops also,) tourist attractions, pottery painting and clay studio, wine and paint night at bars, used book stores or a grassy park or coffee shop to read, local movie viewings, and game store card game tournaments.

   Step 3) pick one place to go every week or every other week in order to ease your way into being more comfortable in public settings with people who share common interest.

   Here’s mine: I would go to the park to roller skate. If I saw someone else skating, I’d approach them and ask if it was ok if I skated near them. Ask them how long they’ve been skating, and if they could teach me that cool trick they just did. I would also go to the used book store by my house and look for a book I might like, if I saw someone my age in the fantasy genre area, I’d ask them what they’re currently reading or looking for, if they enjoy it, and that opens the door for small connections that help build safety and comfort in learning how to interact with new ppl. Social skills are just like any other skill, you have to practice!

   Step 4) after doing this for about a month or two, you start to run into people you’ve already met doing your hobbies. You can naturally form a friendship this way. Exchange social media and then invite them to do the Thing together.

   Here’s mine: I used to play pool a LOT. Every Monday was ladies night at a bar I enjoyed going to. I kept running into the same guy and eventually we exchanged socials. We went on a date and found that we wanted different things, but it was a win for me! A whole date with someone I met organically! We’re just friends now, which is better than being isolated and lonely.

   Repeat steps 3 and 4 until you build confidence, make friends, and start to feel more safe and comfortable being yourself in a public place. You will naturally be more happy and confident which will make you more attractive, and you’ll have some green flags for Boyfriend Applications:) hope this helps!! Good luck!