I’ve been told I’m a spoiled princess. Who makes him
feel like he’s not enough. Weather it be when he takes
me on dates, when he buys me gifts or even in sex.
How can I make him feel enough and be better. He’s the
only good thing in my life and I hate Myself. I’m so
moody and resentful. I want to be better
23 comments
Best way is to stop hating yourself.
Why would anyone else like you if you cant like yourself?
Consider yourself lucky. He’s obviously a red-pilled dude who has maneuvered you into the optimal girlfriend frame of mind. 👍
There are so many things you can do: Thank him for what he does for you, learn to appreciate the small gestures and return them, compliment him, ask him about his day, reassure him that he is enough, show interest about his hobbies, plan cute activities together, go on a trip, offer him a massage,…
But the thing is, will you do any of these because you really love him and you want to make it up to him, or are you lying to yourself and you don’t want to continue this relationship?
That realisation part is already a good first step to becoming a better gf. Maybe u can try being vocal about the things u are grateful for with your boyfriend. Tell him u appreciate him for this or when he does that. You can also try to reciprocating those.
Either he’s right or the complete opposite (meaning he’s manipulating you). The relationship is doomed in both cases.
Your boyfriend calls you a spoiled princess? And you are hating yourself asking how you could be better? Based on what you are saying you are being abused and need to get out.
Do you let him see you appreciate the things he does for you, and do you appreciate the things he does for you? What reaction do you give when you see him?
Take the reigns!…example, YOU plan dates, YOU initiate things, YOU pay for dinners; movies etc..no 50/50 nah, YOU cop the whole bill. Make a habit of doing little things like that I and guarantee your man will be happier. Ignore all these guys saying “stop hating yourself” blah blah…nonsense. taking the initiative trying to better yourself for your bf is a solid move…I commend you 👌
Why does he call you a spoilt princess? Normally, there would be a specific reason, but if he’s saying you’re making him feel like he’s not good enough in several aspects of the relationship it seems a bit unusual.
I’m not jumping on who is right or wrong here, but without some clearer context then it’s very hard to say what you need to do (whether it be to improve yourself, or to understand you are not the problem).
We needs some more details.
A few things that popped out:
– He is the only good thing in your life? This is a major thing! You need to have your own life, too. There needs to be positivity stemming from your own inspirations. It can be a hobby or something. It will make everything better.
– Spoiled? Do you come from a rich background? Do you have initiative? Do you do things yourself or expect things to get done by others? Do you complain about petty things?
– The sex part is a mystery. Do you make an effort in bed or expect him to do everything?
Stop hating yourself, the more room you have for love the more you can give
Also show him how you feel when you feel it, you came and are satisfied after sex? Show it in the moment, tell him out show him what you feel in your body.
Made you food you like? Same thing.
This could also be that he is feeling like you aren’t giving the same amount of effort in… This you will have to think for yourself what you can and want to do FOR HIM.
You specifically say “I’ve been told”.
Who said that?
What being a better girlfriend means is up to your boyfriend. But if he’s told you that you make him feel like he’s not enough, maybe work on being better about vocalizing your affection for him. Not just in being genuinely enthusiastic when he treats you well, but in going out of your way to spoil him some times. In spontaneously giving him praise and affection. Like honestly, put down reddit right now, go up to your boyfriend, give him a hug and a kiss and tell him you’re sorry for making him feel like he’s not enough sometimes and that you’re going to work on being better because you love him and he’s the best thing in your life. I’m sure he’d love to hear that you care about him.
And if you’re so moody and resentful in general, maybe look into seeing a therapist to help you untangle some of those issues. We’re random people on reddit who don’t know you, don’t know your problems, and aren’t qualified to help you with them. Those are problem issues you need to sit down and talk through in a long term setting.
Is it possible that he has self esteem issues and is blaming you for it?
It’s important that we make sure our partners feel appreciated, and we can do that by asking about how they feel loved. But if someone has self esteem issues, that’s also something they need to work on actively and not blames others for it. There’s not enough information for me to tell if it’s a “him issue”, a “you issue”, or both.
Do a barrel roll
Talk to HIM about this, not us.
Imagine it’s someone else’s relationship.
What advice would you give them?
Show gratitude and be present when you’re with him.
Compliment him show him appreciation for what he dose Even the little things. A blowjob surprise once in a while , don’t ask just start to do it.
It sounds like you have some struggles of your own. It’s ok if you’re not an outgoing or vibrant person. That’s just who you are. There’s nothing wrong with it if you have a hard time being cheerful, or lighthearted, or whatever. And if you beat yourself up for not being those things, instead of accepting yourself, it’ll only make things worse.
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Are you doing ok? It sounds to me like you might’ve had some pretty unhappy past or are going through a rough patch in your life right now.
Depressive states or lack of motivation can be taken by people as a lack of gratitude, and cause frustration to build up. At the end of the day, people struggling with mental health aren’t going to be the easiest to live with, but if you two love each other and you start to care for yourself, it can work out. If your current therapist or medication isn’t working for you, see if you can try other options. Ask your therapist about other forms of therapy: if you’re doing talk-therapy, maybe something like cognitive behavioral therapy might give you a push. Or psychoanalysis.
Judging by your post history, I do think you need some in real life to sit down next to you and talk with you about things. Or, outside of that, I do believe you need to at least seek something else to give you purpose in your life.
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The point is you can’t sit and grieve over it. Even if you’re feeling guilty or empty, you need to get up and do something, anything, to make that emotion active. Send him a message, clean the dishes, put your shoes on and walk outside.
And even if jumping up and screaming for joy isn’t your natural reaction, you can still find ways to express your appreciation. Pay attention to the things he does for you. Mentioning specific things you notice and appreciate will always be a good thing: that can be your first step.
Have you ever tried posting on r/MomForAMinute?
This could go a few different ways. First I would ask you to validate his claims are founded in reality. Are really a spoiled princess? Do you really not appreciate or show appreciation? Are you really not trying? Or is he fabricating these claims to further the decline or your self worth to manipulate you and abuse you. Just food for thought.
Sounds like you don’t like yourself because you know you act like a moody, resentful, spoiled princess. That is step one of correcting the problem. Because you are the problem.
Step two is to figure out what you want. Him taking you places and buying you gifts doesn’t sound like the answer. Besides, he would always have to one-up his last gift/trip if that did it for you.
At some point down the line you also have to answer the uncomfortable question, “Why would he want to be with you?” It doesn’t matter who your partner is because that question will always be there.
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