Boyfriend and I have been together for around a year. We live two hours away from each other, so we don’t see each other besides the weekends due to school and work.
My boyfriend lives in an apartment with his parents and has lived with them his whole life. I moved out of my parents house when i was 18. I have a hard time understanding why he is still living with them, and i feel like a horrible girlfriend for looking down on him and judging him for it. He is not close with his parents and generally don’t care much for them (his own words), and often complains that they bother him. Mind you, he does not pay rent or pay them anything for him to be living with them. I would like to see a future with this guy, but i worry that his parents do everything for him. I never see him cook or clean or do anything remotely close to chores except sometimes carrying groceries from the car to the apartment.
I have tried asking many times why doesn’t he just move when he’s tired of living there. His response is just that it’s convinient and that it’s hard to find another apartment – he says he is always looking for one.
He has worked a decent paying job for many years, but he just recently quit due to wanting to study again. I would have thought he would have saved up lots of money since he doesn’t pay any housing items, but that does not seem to be the case. Every time i hear him buy anything that is not necessary, i just can’t stop myself thinking about why he isn’t spending his money more wisely on an apartment. He also just sold his old car and bought a new one.
I am not sure how to sit down and have a talk with him that this bothers me. I am not even sure it’s okay that i am bothered by this. How do i talk to him about this?
4 comments
Break up with this guy he’s a leech. And bad with money apparently.
Living with your parents can be a smart financial choice.
But it sounds like still being at home is just a symptom of the real problem here.
> I never see him cook or clean or do anything remotely close to chores except sometimes carrying groceries from the car to the apartment.
This guy sounds like a teenager in an adult body. Which explains why he was dating a 21 yr old while pushing 30. Yeegh.
What’s he going back to school to study?
> he says he is always looking for one.
Housing has been insane over the last few years. Maybe he really has been looking. But this still sounds like a cop-out answer. It might be worth asking him *which* ones he’s looked at recently, if he’s claiming to be shopping around.
If he can’t name any…then…yeah.
How’d you move out at 18, btw? Did you go to college, or completely pay your own way – without any help – just from working one job?
Not everyone can do that. Be careful about assuming everyone should just because you could.
Maybe he judges you for paying rent
Sounds like a man child.