Women of Reddit who have experienced both having sex with someone you are in love with and someone who was more just a casual hook-up/ONS, how do you compare the two experiences?

13 comments

  1. Being in love with a secusl partner has always been better, since im able to fully be myself

  2. I don’t compare them. They are completely different experiences with different people and circumstances. Like comparing apples to oranges; they are both roundish fruits, but that’s where the comparison ends.

  3. I am currently engaged to the most incredible man who I am very much in love with, but before him I hooked up with quite a few guys.

    Hooking up was fun because of the flirting and chasing aspect, the fleeting moments of chatting with someone at a party or something and then it turning into kissing and eventually fucking. It was a major confidence booster that men found me hot, that made me feel powerful in a way. BUT the sex was never that great, I don’t think I came once with any of the guys I had sex with, some were better than others but it was hit or miss on whether the sex would be decent.

    Having sex with someone you’re in love with is a whole different ball game. It feels like the love you feel for them is radiating through your body, you feel vulnerable which makes you just feel closer to the person. I feel like I want him to be molded to me, like we could become one entity, and the rhythm of our bodies together feels so powerful. Just thinking of the love I feel for him can make me cum. We’ve been together 6 years, and I have orgasmed in EVERY session with him. We actually met on a “one night stand” but even from that moment I thought the sex was on another level.

  4. Nothing compares to having sex with someone you love in a commited relationship (hear monogamous).

  5. They are completely different experiences so it’s hard to compare them. They are both good, but I wouldn’t say one is better than the other.

    I’m the kind of person who can differentiate love from sex, and to me there is a big difference between just a hot hook- up and making love with someone. It’s apples and oranges.

  6. I don’t really think they’re comparable, but if I were going to compare them… Casual hookups are like fast food. They’re fine, they scratch an itch, sometimes they’re good and sometimes they’re awful.

    But sex with my husband is like a three course gourmet meal cooked by Gordon Ramsay. I’d never ever go back to hookups now I’ve had sex with someone who knows me and my body better than *I* do.

  8. I can’t have sex with someone who has a personality I’m also attracted to without eventually developing feelings. The times I’ve had casual hookups have been with men who had personalities I couldn’t see myself with long-term and I could detach mentally from the experience. Being in love is a whole different experience because I like all of them, not just parts of them. It’s way more fulfilling.

  9. In love is easily one of the best feelings in the world. The other is very very far from it.

  12. I love the passion when having sex with someone u love In comparison to hookups. I feel like I orgasm faster when it’s with someone I love versus a hookup. However disappointments (like cumming fast, or when they don’t think about pleasing u) during sex with someone you love is wayyyyy more disappointing than with a hookup.

    I enjoy hookups bc they don’t come attached to all the other baggage men bring. And usually the ones amazing at sex, ain’t shit. So just take the good and leave the bad and keep it moving.

  13. I value intimate connection. In between serious relationships, my friends would encourage me to celebrate my freedom with fun, meaningless sex. I’d have that meaningless sex and just feel bad about myself—not like I was doing something immoral by having loveless sex, but like I was betraying myself by prioritizing what I was supposed to like instead of what was actually fulfilling. Even sex with someone I’m considering seriously leaves me feeling really anxious even though I know we’re testing for general compatibility before commitment.

    I’m with someone I love. We’ve been together for three years, and there’s an understanding that we want to spend our lives together, that we want to put in the effort to love each other even as we grow into people completely different than the versions of ourselves that first fell in love with each other. Sex has never been better.

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