Hello, this is my first post on this sub.
My girlfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me and asked to be friends so she that she could explore her sexuality.
We had a really good relationship and she doesn’t regret meeting/dating me. I also knew she was bi curious for a little over a year now and have never judged her for coming out, and it has only made us closer with each other.
She’s never dated or had an experience with a girl before so when she had the constant thought of girls on her mind This past late December onwards, i tried different ways of trying to save it by offering different options like opening up the relationship, or finding someone to have a threesome, all just to give her the opportunity.
She declined them all saying it would only make me jealous and she doesn’t want to hurt me. I just felt like if she could try it out and it wasn’t right then I’d still be around? Or if she tried and she knew for sure that’s what she wanted then it would make sense to break up?, idk đ .
We still communicate with each other mostly thru texting, sometimes we call. Although it hasn’t been difficult talking with her, in all honesty I’m really glad she didn’t ghost me as it would’ve made me go insane!, I’m still processing all of this and trying to figure out the why’s.
I’m close with her friends and they’re still pretty shocked that we ended. I’m currently focusing on my self and I’m looking for ways to always improve, but the emotional pain is just coming in waves. đ i could really use some helpful advice!.
TL;DR my bi curious girlfriend of 3 years starting questioning her sexuality a lot more these past few months and broke up with me to explore herself 4 days ago, we always had a really good relationship and she doesn’t regret meeting/dating me. I could use advice!.
3 comments
Iâm so sorry. I know youâre hurting. But I do agree with your ex that opening the relationship/trying a threesome would have been the wrong move. I think you likely wouldâve ended up more hurt.
I donât think you should ask yourself âwhy.â The answer is simple: you were compatible, and then you werenât. Donât blame yourself, donât blame your ex. Sheâs doing what she thinks is right for her, you should do the same. I know you still care for her but I suggest limiting contact, at least for a little. It could be hard to fully get over her if you still speak regularly.
If you have a friend you can open up to, do that. If you have friends separate from your exâs friends, try to spend time with them. Pick up a hobby. Do something mentally stimulating so that you donât find yourself thinking about her too much.
Itâs not really that she doesnât want to make you jealous. Whether youâre together or not, you can still be jealous. If her concern was your jealousy, she wouldnât want to continue to be in routine contact with you while sheâs doing it. I know you think that makes it better, but it really doesnât do anything to help you heal. It just ensures that the wound stays open. The breakup is so SHE doesnât feel like sheâs cheating. What she wants is to do explore whatever she wants, be able to keep getting attention and validation from you (which she is) and know that if she ever desires to come back, she can. Basically, youâre the bf in a glass box sitting on her shelf. Youâre waiting there hoping someday sheâll play with you again.
Well it’s a breakup so treat it like a breakup
Meaning that if it’s too painful or hard to stay in touch with her , then don’t.
She broke up with you so she doesn’t get to keep talking to you and depending on you and getting emotional support from you, while you can’t do the same from her, because she asked for the space.