So we met finally in Hanoi on last year’s November, but have since been talking online through a platform since July, getting to know each other through FT and Messenger. Followed each other socials to get updated. It has been great, we have common interests and discussed on some boundaries that comes with the unofficial-officially relationship. We both had a great time while I was there, and willing to understand and learn more about each other as time goes.
Then this month, I applied for a remote work and travelled to her country, for a month just to spend more time with her and get to know her better. However, she’s been busy with her work and can only see me in a bit for certain times. So I felt that my initial trip to get to know her better is a bit of a bummer. The times that we met in my airbnb and some other places outside, we just decided to talk on normal things – there is no more topics that we want to talk on knowing each other, and usually it needs to be initiated by me. There are also times that she had to cancel our plans to meet because she always planned last minute things with her group of best friends – so end up, she will try to stop by and meet me for an hour and just rest/nap in the home before going out for dinner with her best friends. Or she’ll make it up by calling me late at night thru FT after finishing any events that she missed to go with me.
I get that she’s young and might be new for her to adjust. Our love language differs but we always have communication on that we try to understand each other’s. I am more of a physical touch kinda person, and her thought on relationship is different in that physical touch is not important, even sitting with her close on a sofa, she would say, I need personal space. I truly respect that and give her the space but in my mind, I felt that she’s not really interested in me and I was just truly trying to communicate that I just wanted to bond with her. She said in her household, the parents did not do that, and even saying “i love you” is kinda rare so we never had that except it is translated into quality time gifting or act of services.
Also, I just found out that her mom is not very fond of me (I am Singaporean) due to different in nationality and culture (She’s Vietnamese) but she tried to talk her mum out of it but she didn’t listen.
I really want to make this LDR works, and since I can remote work in any country, I could be working in her country for awhile.
Maybe I should pick a better time when she’s emotionally and physically available for bonding as now it seems quite bummer since it has been lil bit different since we last met.
TLDR: Wanted to make an LDR work and also improve on ways how we can get to know each other better. Need advice to strengthen the relationship.
1 comment
It sounds like shes just not that into you. I don’t think this is about timing. If she loved you she would be over the moon that you’re here and spend every day with you. She would show you around. She would invite you to meet her friends, you could go with them. You’d have lots of sex and cuddles. That’s not a love language thing, every couple snuggles sometimes. I feel like she’s making up excuses just so she doesn’t have to see you….
Maybe she just doesn’t like you that much in person? Or maybe she’s dating you for some other reason, like money? I’d call it a failed experiment if I were you and break it off. The relationship clearly doesn’t work in person.