Men of reddit, how do you deal with being underconfident?

13 comments

1. Do something to become confident.

   Lift weights and become muscular.

   Learn to fight.

   And so on.

2. I don’t give a damn. Problem solved.

3. “i usually just put on my big boy pants and try to remember that i’m capable of anything i set my mind to. that usually helps me feel a bit more confident in myself!

4. seek mental health counseling. these kinds of issues don’t just go away on their own, and you can’t wish, hope, pray, lift, run, eat, ignore, or fuck them away.

   they need addressing in a safe, productive environment where you can do guided internal work, because the emotional drivers behind your low confidence need attention.

   i hope you get the help you need. you’re worth it.

5. The only way out is by facing it. Putting yourself in uncomfortable/new scenarios and surviving them.

   You don’t need to sky dive but just try new things or get about more. I made myself say yes to every invite one year. Made a massive difference to my confidence getting out a bunch more.

6. No way to “deal” with it. If I had reason to be confident then I would be.

7. Do it anyway. Taking action is the best way to build confidence. You can’t just talk yourself into it, contrary to popular belief.

8. It has to come from within.

   You can’t give someone confidence.

9. I’ve always hated the phrase “Fake it ’til you make it,” but it has a degree of truth. Courtesy matters, but be less conscious of what others think–recognize it for the trap it is.

10. I just finished ‘no Mr nice guy’ and it’s helped me take a step back and look at my life and how I’ve let my confidence slip away from me.

11. Try to learn a new trick. Play an instrument or boxing.

12. Get something to be confident over. So hit the gym.

13. I avoid introspection and try to stay in the moment. It’s easier to be myself that way. It’s hard to be confident when you’re constantly telling yourself how much you suck and why you should be doing xyz better. Then just work on loving myself. I try to remember my strengths and be a bit more positive.