How would you propose being FWB with a friend who is also your ex?

49 comments

1. Absolutely not.

2. Sounds like a recipe for disaster, to be honest- messy and complicated. But I guess that depends on how you guys split up/your relationship history?

3. I wouldn’t. That can get messy fast and revisiting the past is never a good idea.

4. Don’t, you broke up for a reason and you will just start falling back into old relationship habits.

5. Yikes. I would not.

6. I wouldn’t

7. I wouldn’t. Like’s too short to keep making the same mistakes.

8. I would not do that thing.

9. Been there done that. You will regret it. Your ex is an ex for a reason.

10. Hard pass.

11. By communicating that and seeing if they agree. However My opinion is that an ex stays an ex

12. I would never choose to do so

13. No thanks I’d rather be celibate for the rest of my life than go back there with my ex husband

14. Don’t do it! I’ve never done an FWB situation with an ex, because I’m done with them after the relationship ends. But, I’ve seen videos on tik tok from girls who have and they said it’s the worse thing ever.

15. FWB with exs rarely work out. Prepare for heartache

    You’re best finding a new D

16. Depends why you broke up. If the sexual chemistry is there and you guys are still on speaking terms ask them how they’d feel about it. Set up firm rules before hand.

17. This never works, if y’all still tolerate eachother enough to have sex post breakup, someone’s feelings are coming back. You broke up for a reason and that should keep you apart. Move on to the next thing.

18. So I won’t tell you no. If you can communicate about it and set ground rules it can work just fine, just depends on what you both want. Sometimes is the relationship bad but the sex is good. Talk about it.

19. It’s a no for me.. they are an EX for a reason

20. Nope not smart

21. I wouldn’t.

22. [removed]

23. depends on your past relationship, why you broke up, etc.

24. I wouldn’t.

25. I did that once or twice- usually ends up in dating again. 10/10 don’t recommended. You will have conflicted feelings. & if not you, then them. Hurt feelings will not be avoided

26. Did this. I didn’t propose it, I bought into it because I thought having him attached to me, even just sexually was enough. It started with the intention of maybe getting back together, and ended with him realizing he was horny and hookups felt bad. The emotional validation he felt during our sex alleviated guilt he had for stringing it out and lacking the emotional intelligence to make clean and cut decisions.

    Long story short, my advice is let it go and celebrate choosing self respect. And avoid learning it the hard way.

27. It can feel good, but don’t think you will get a meaning relationship with someone else while FWBing. You simply won’t be as open for it as you would without FWB an ex.

28. There are 8 billion people on this earth. They are an ex for a reason, find someone new.

29. Don’t do it. Source: I’ve done it, and it’s a bad idea.

30. I absolutely wouldn’t.

31. I would never ever do that

32. Some people break up, then realize that they should be together and they fix things and are good!! Maybe you should ask them to be your gf/bf again and then check if they are on the same level as you!

33. It’s not a good idea whatsoever.

34. Returning to an ex removes the space and solitary time essential for moving on.

    If he’s a ‘friend’ as well as an ex, and you’d like him to be FWB, then you’re eventually going to pay for him taking up space in your mind and life like a bf.

    Psychologically, that’s not fair to either of you. At this point, you should stop playing silly games and decide if he’s your BF or not.

    I think you secretly know the answer, but you choose to ignore the logic. I’m saying this from experience, so we both where I’m coming.

35. This sounds way too messy and could potentially hurt any future relationships you get into

36. Can’t get any messier

37. You don’t. That’s just setting yourself up for failure.

38. I don’t think that’s a good idea. We’ve already gone down that path and it didn’t end well. It’s probably better if we just stay friends.

39. Do NOT do it. Only good answer here.

40. Um. I don’t care who you are that is messy. The thing is, it’s not friends with benefits no matter how much you want it to be. It’s different bc the past that will forever change the nature of your friendship, let alone sex. Just doesnt really work. Why not take the time to find someone else..Be logical. L
    Can you really have it all? Discipline is for realistic outcomes and saving you the trouble of the insanity that would be

41. Skip the small talk. Just lay it out like, “I know we know each other for a long time and even though we not together what’s you thoughts on us being friends with benefits” they either gonna say yes or no. Don’t over think things people. People appreciate you more when your direct. Note, being direct doesn’t mean being rude, obnoxious and disrespectful.

42. Did that, he broke up with me, and then we started sleeping with each other. Both of us got hurt in the end. I wouldn’t recommend

43. To give a different perspective, I’m doing it currently, and it’s wonderful! It is an ex from a loooong time ago, so that might help. We have a great sexual compatibility and connection, we are both kind people with high EQ. Neither of us is easily jealous or insecure. It suits both our current situations equally. It is a real benefit that we know each other from ‘before-times’. A short-hand language and more trust. Just because we weren’t suited to ‘walking off into the sunset’ doesn’t mean there isn’t another model that we do suit.

    How did it start up? I social-media stalked him, chatted online for a few months and then asked him to lunch. I brought up the situation in my life that was preventing me from currently seeking a full-time partner and hinted strongly at the downside of that being not having a playmate. He mirrored what I said. I said (laughing) ‘Well there’s a FWB job vacancy going if you’re ever interested!’ and changed the subject. He stepped up within the week.

44. Tried that for a year or so. It was way too difficult and painful. It keeps us stuck in this space together, not open to meeting anyone else.

    Unless it’s been so long that you can’t remember what it felt like to be in love with them, I’d say no fucking way.

45. Would it bother you if they were hooking up/dating other people? If yes then don’t do it.

46. As someone who is kind of FWB with my ex, it’s an odd situation. We broke up 3 years ago, was a very messy breakup, I was devastated for 6 months. And then I healed. And healed some more. Worked on myself.

    He slowly re-entered my life as just a friend. He’s very handyman so he started fixing things around my house, my car, etc. we kept it civil and on friendly terms.

    Then as the relationship became comfortable again, we started sleeping together.

    It took a long time, emotions were hashed out and him and I both know we will never be in a relationship again.

47. Ooof nah sis, ain’t ever gonna work.

48. No. You’re only going to hurt yourself. This is great for him, not so much for you. Trust me.

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