I am dating my gf for a year now and we live together for 8 months. She is home employed and does all the cores during the day and I have nothing left to do when I get home from work. As an example, everyday, she spent a lot of time cooking meals for us, clean the house, run washing machine, etc… I only take care of the garden and upgrading the house, which takes me little time in comparison. If I tell her she doesnt have to do this or that, I could have done it, she tells I don’t need too. If I try to help for food she says she doesn’t trust me for cooking anything good (she’s quite right on this). She tells she loves this way of life, but I definitely feel guilty about doing nothing, knowing she does everything. If anyone had any advice about how to actually help her, or how to stop feeling it would be perfect !
13 comments
> She is home employed
What do you mean by that? Does she work from home, or is she a stay-at-home gf?
> f I try to help for food she says she doesn’t trust me for cooking anything good (she’s quite right on this).
You are 25, start learning how to cook. Srsly, in my country, 12 year olds have home economics and learn to properly cook. If they can do it, so can you. Don’t be this dependent on them?
Nothing is wrong with a “traditional” woman. Remember that equality is about being able to do whatever you want. She wants to do those things so let her. And when she needs you to do something do it.
Do little things that help her in the long run if that eases your conscience. If you know she’s gonna clean the bathroom, bring her the supplies. Or start on the dishes before she shows up. If she asks why, say some cheesy shit like “What could be a better past time than being near the most beautiful woman I ever laid eyes on?” But honestly, if she enjoys doing it, you can just leave her be. I know a lot of people that really enjoy doing chores as it is their escape from reality. Just imagine it as her version of playing video games.
Ask her for a day or two per week when you cook the meals. She can hang with you and help out, but you do the planning, buying and cooking.
I think it’s great that she is into doing what she likes, but she should help you by sharing some of this. Be a team!
Learn how to cook. You’re 25. My 12 year old can make himself a meal. Is she a stay at home gf?
It’s cool that she enjoys doing these things and you should just focus on keeping her happy.
For lack of a better term, what is her receiving love language? Does she like private recognition or for you to brag publicly about her? Does she want words or gifts? Should you take her to events?
You could ask her to teach you to cook, that could be fun, and she will be able to cook more complex stuff quicker since she will have an extra set of hands!
When you get home now and then. Draw her a bath. Drop a bath bomb. Light candles. Pour her a glass of wine or roll a joint.
Show her how much you appreciate her when you can. And keep checking in now and then if there’s anything she’d like your help more on.
If she is happy and you are happy then that’s fine. If you want to “make it up to her” keep wooing her. Take her in dates, buy her some flowers, do little things around the house like make sure you throw your shit IN the laundry basket, maybe put it by the machine, take the garbage out, do the heavy lifting. If you’re working to support your lifestyle and she’s doing housework that is an ok model if everyone’s happy with it- she says you don’t need to feel guilty about it so don’t- but do the small things that could make a difference to her day/timing- run her bath while you do the dishes- whatever floats your and her boat. I think the key is that she’s showing you she appreciates you taking care of her, and if anything you could just show her you appreciate how she takes care of you too- and you don’t have to definitely share every chore to show this either- you just have to find out what make her feel appreciated- does she like small gifts? Or does she prefer physical touch? Or quality time or doing an activity together? Etc. And when she actually does ask for help then definitely help her.
That she is taking care of the house it means that you have enough time to take care of her😜😜😜😜 do nice things with her, like nice hobbies together, massage her, have a sexual bath together!!! She takes care of the house and you take care of her!!! Isn’t it that nice???
That she is taking care of the house it means that you have enough time to take care of her😜😜😜😜 do nice things with her, like nice hobbies together, massage her, have a sexual bath together!!! She takes care of the house and you take care of her!!! Isn’t it that nice???
Wait a second – she’s working from home and doing all this shit and you think she’s a “traditional woman”? Dude no, she’s working two full time jobs, one for her job and one taking care of your whole house.
Bless her heart.
She’s working remote from home, doing all the household work, all while being unmarried. Some women have to learn the hard way lol. If you want to play an active role in things, you need to tell her that. Explain that you understand she enjoys doing it all, but you want to play a role in the relationship too. If she’s unwilling to let you do that, highly reconsider who you are with. A relationship should be a two way street.