I (28F) been talking to a guy (34M) that I matched with on a dating app specific to my ethnicity for about almost 2 months now. We are long distance.
We talk every single day. He texts me every morning, keeps me updated about his day, when he’s out, what he’s eating, etc and I feel like we get along really well. We basically talk every day as if normal couples do throughout the day.
However, there hasn’t been any hints or indications from him about meeting or anything anytime soon even when I drop hints about him coming to see me. I can’t tell if he’s interested in pursuing anything serious with me or if he’s just testing waters or enjoys talking to me as a friend which I respect, but it’s not what I’m looking for lol
I’ve asked him about his relationship experience and he said he’s only been in one relationship his whole life and that lasted a year. He’s dated around but nothing ever pans out apparently. Not sure if he’s just inexperienced with dating. We’ve FaceTimed, talked on the phone, send each other selfies/pictures (nothing explicit) so to me it feels like he is but I could be wrong.
In the past, I would’ve asked a guy his intentions by if I liked them, but it always resulted in the guy not being ready/wanting to keep options open and it would hurt especially if I really liked the guy so that’s why I’m afraid of asking him the same.
Has anyone every experienced something like this where the “talking phase” just never seems to end? Maybe I’m just attracted to emotionally unavailable guys? I know long distance usually takes longer than most relationships to form but tbh I think 2 months is more than enough time to decide if you like someone or not.
3 comments
Ask him. Simply as that. Dont waste your energy and time if has interest, if you think enough time has passed. The minimum should be that you talk about meeting.
Why don’t you ask him? And ask about meeting in-person? Is this one of those “if he wants to, he would”?
You need to have the conversation that you’re avoiding because you’re afraid that the guy won’t be ready or whatever in your second to last paragraph.
Finding out the answer to that conversation isn’t something you can avoid, and the answer doesn’t change just because you actually talked about it.