So i just turned 16 even tho life “just started” something is bothering me a lot lately, my fear of \*missing out\*. to give some context i moved twice since the pandemic started and i kind of lost most of my friends, it’s been quite tough but i think im doing good. Since my social life is pretty limited right now i really started focusing more on self-improvement to pave the way to my adulthood, i’ve been studying way more, been learning how to play the guitar, learning python, hitting the gym etc.
But something is still haunting me, that constant feeling of “am i missing something?” Shouldn’t i be making friends and having sex while im still young? I mean, that’s what most people around my age are focusing on rn.
i think i have time, but until when?
8 comments
You have until forever…most of us are still just trying to figure life out…you’ll do the same, nothing is permanent and you have a lifetime of experiences ahead of you! Enjoy them, cry when you feel it, love deeply, and seek out the novel ideas…be kind to those you meet, especially yourself.
Definitely worthy of dwelling on once you’re 19 or so.
There’s a popular name for what you’re describing: Fear of Missing Out, or FOMO. It’s a natural feeling, but also one that’s deliberately stoked by advertisers, influencers and scammers because it makes it easier for them to get your money. But I digress.
The fact is that you are missing something. Everyone is. There are too many things in the world for any one person to do all of them, so you have to choose what to focus on. Whatever you don’t focus on, you’ll miss out on. The question you need to ask yourself isn’t “Am I missing something?”, it’s “Am I missing the right things?” And really, that’s a question you have to answer for yourself. No one else’s answers will be right for you.
If you’re like most people, making friends should probably be a priority. Not because you’re still young (although that is typically the easiest time to make friends), but because, for most people, friends are important at every stage of life. Sex… well, it’s pretty good, but IMO it’s not something you have to rush at the expense of other interests.
It took me way too long to realize my suffering was my own doing. Comparing yourself to others, giving yourself FOMO, can really take the color out of life. It sounds like you’re doing the right things, so keep doing them. My recommendation for self-improvement are “waking up” app for your mental health, and the Huberman Lab podcast to understand how your body works so you can take care of it well (if you haven’t heard of these yet).
To be fair, we all just went through a pandemic that made almost all of us much more comfortable staying at home, so you DO have it harder than most of us did. But, lots of people want to get out and do stuff but lack the motivation to do anything so you might have to put yourself out there and drag some people out of their caves.
Be the guy you would want to be friends with and you’ll be fine.
if you dont have a close best friend, then youre missing out. you can do the guitar-python-gym self improvement bullshit thing endlessly from 20-30 but do not miss out on building a true lifelong friendship. 20+ and you wont get a chance to make that bond ever again. you should focus on finding ONE best bud. that’s THE most important thing in life
The only mistake you’re making is thinking you’re supposed to know what you’re doing. Nobody knows what they’re doing, and anybody confident enough to tell you they do is lying. The 16 year olds having a lot of sex? Yeah probably not
You have so much time you lucky bastard. Take care of your health, study something that makes money, and date/fuck a lot of women (and/or men, whatever) before you settle down. You’ll miss it when it’s gone.
If you’re happy with what you’re doing, you’re not missing out. Teenage years are difficult on everyone. Hormones and peer pressure, especially. Forge your own path, which you’re doing.
And enjoy Python. It’s a versatile, fun (and frustrating!) programming language.