He confessed his feeling for me a few weeks ago, since it was just that (on snapchat btw), I didn’t make any deal of it just acknowledged it. upon my acknowledgment of his feelings he said now we are in a relationship. I made it clear we are not since I am just acknowledging.
Yesterday he says the following: “For how long are you going to have same photo (profile)?” I disabled him from seeing it at all.
He argued on this by saying Do I not care if we don’t talk… so I told him if you have so many issues with the way I am when I am not pointing out your shortcomings, just don’t talk to me and I don’t want this toxicity.
“You know people who know me, know what I say is meant to be taken in which manner (kidding). Don’t spoil the mood.” I haven’t responded to it yet.
I don’t know how to respond… Is this toxic?
TL;DR: He (21M) constantly finds faults in me and tries to guilt the nice in me (21F) to continue
Update: I have blocked him:)
10 comments
Why are you talking to him?
Don’t be guilted into being the “nice girl.” You are entitled to choose the people you want to date, even if it means disappointing a few others along the way. Block him on everything, and you won’t have any more problems.
If your mutual friends ask you what’s going on, tell them the truth. He asked you to date him, you tried letting him down gently but it didn’t work, then he started to harass you into changing your mind, so you were forced to block him.
Edited to add: it’s not rude to choose your own dating partners. It’s rude to keep pestering someone who has already turned you down.
Honestly, I would never talk to this guy again. It’s not rude to cut somebody loose who intentionally pushes your buttons and doesn’t treat you with respect.
Go right now and get yourself a copy of “The Disease To Please” by Dr. Harriet Braiker so you can figure out how to stop valuing the feelings of complete shitasses over your right to be at peace.
“I’m not responsible for your feelings, and I’m not interested in any sort of relationship with you. Please stop contacting me.”
Then you block him.
Screw that. Cut ties and move on from this idiot.
Yes, it’s very toxic. Don’t engage with him anymore, you’re just feeding his ego
Rip the bandaid.
“Dude, we are not dating. I do not like you, quit messaging me or I’m gonna have to block you. You are being really creepy. Leave me alone.”
Quit being nice to creepy guys.
One time a guy I worked with texted me, asking me on a date, and when I didn’t respond right away (I was busy) he blew up on me. He texted something along the lines of “If you didn’t want to talk to me, you could have just not exchanged numbers instead of making me look like an idiot.”
I didn’t respond.
The next day, he tried to smooth it over by joking around about me not replying.
To his face I said, “It wasn’t worth a response.”
Dude was PISSED, but it was worth getting him off my back. He didn’t talk to me like that after.
Gotta create the boundaries and stand firm.
Id block or turn off notifications n be done. Yall dont mesh well.