It’s been a while that I’ve been thinking that maybe this relationship isn’t the right for me. We’ve been 2 years together. It started as a fling, then with time I really fell in love and it left me broken. I feel confused overall. When I’m wondering if he loves me, I swear he does but then some thing don’t add up. It doesn’t add up that when I try to communicate my needs (such as more affection, more quality time things like that) he turns it on me, saying I’m questioning his love for me. Multiple times, I’ve explained him that when I share a complaint or a need it’s not that I doubt him, but just that I want to share some thoughts with no pressure. He gets defensive so easily. I’ve noticed that during the whole relationship I’ve been crying a lot. Without always knowing exactly why. I remember, being madly in love and looking forward to meet him, until I got tired. It’s been a couple months that I’m feeling numb. He notices it that I’m more silent, less bubbly than usual and he ask why, says he doesn’t like that and gets angry at me. When thinking about the relationship, it feels blurry and I feel like I wasted two years of my life. That can’t be a good thing. But he’s also so loving and affectionate sometimes, and listens to me and supports me. I don’t know what to do, I feel that it’d be best to breakup, but what if I’m overreacting and overwhelmed for some reason? What if I’m self sabotaging and throwing away a good relationship?
TLDR; I feel like my 2 year relationship is draining me, and thinking of breaking up but I’m afraid I’m overreacting. I’m very confused and everything is blurry.
1 comment
Good relationships are good 95% of the time, not half the time. Being afraid of throwing away a good relationship is a horrible reason to stay with someone. Don’t make decisions based on fear. You say with someone because you like them and you want to be with them. If a relationship makes you think about leaving it often then that’s not a good relationship.
There could also be other reasons for why you feel like you do, like depression, bi-polar disorder or borderline personality disorder. If your feelings continue and especially if they spill over into other relationships and they don’t seem to make a whole lotta sense then perhaps you could seek someone out and see if you can get a diagnosis from a professional.
But most likely you just have a bad relationship and you already know the answer but you are just struggling to accept the reality of it. Don’t let sunk cost fallacy trip you up. Live your life as best you can.