what are your friendship traumas?

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1. my best friend of 14 years, he moved to Edinburgh from the South of England and kept begging me to move up there with him. After a year or so I got to a position I was ready to quit my job and find work in Edinburgh.
   I had the money to find my own place but he wanted me to live with him for a few months, I hadn’t seen him for the year that he was there so I thought why not, I can save some more money and find somewhere I really really want to live.

   Long story short, he stole all my savings and changed the locks, I had nothing.
   14 years over a bit of cash. I managed to get most of it back, but he changed his name recently and moved out of the country again.

   edit for context, I am also a guy and forgot I followed the askwomen subreddit

2. My bestie of 25 years took her own life a couple of weeks before lockdown in 2020 (no correlation). She was also instrumental in getting me sober 16 years ago.

3. I was sitting with my 2 long time friends A(F 42) and V(M38) in a park, talking and having some ciders. Heard some loud talking and noise not far from us. The now ex-friend of me(F 40) was sitting there with my ex, who was violent against me. She knew, what he did to me- we had talked about it weeks before and had the guts to come with him into our company. I asked her, why did she invite my ex here, to be with us. “Oh but he is so nice”- really?

   Blocked her later and haven`t been talking since. She knew perfectly, that I didn`t want to see my ex ever again, and she still did this.

4. I took the bus to school when I was 8. My friends liked to play this game where they would hide when I would get on the bus and I would have to find them so we could sit together. One day, I asked them why they did this, and they said that it wasn’t a game; they actually just didn’t want to sit with me because I was annoying.

5. Best friend from high school , around 22 she ghosted me and I have felt bad everytime I think of that .
   I feel she shared my secrets with her mom and yeah she didn’t like me
   And maybe I was a bad friend in being selfish where I would only take about me but I wish she could of communicated that to me Instead of leaving.
   She was also doing had things like drugs,guys and parties and I couldn’t keep up with that
   Maybe it was for the best but it’s sad how it ended

6. We were both kids, 9 or so – she was a pathological liar. She’d come over and start spewing stories about how her father and stepdad are physically abusive, really concerning, messed up stuff. Every time my parents would try to involve authorities or raise their concerns to her mum she’d tell everyone I made it up. After that, she’d laugh in my face about being so gullible. When I dropped her and became friends with another girl, she told my whole class not to talk to us because we were lesbians.

7. She had a little too much to drink at a holiday gathering and told the whole table that
   my ex raped me. Weird part about it was no one in the friend group looked very surprised, which made me pretty sure that she had already told them all anyways…

8. Oh I got one!

   I’ve always been a big fan of the friends-to-lovers trope until I experienced the worst romantic breakup ever last year with a really good friend. It was so bad that our friendship ended too. It felt like daggers in my side when I saw him gallivanting around with someone new just a few months after our breakup – Now I’m rethinking my entire opinion on the friends-to-lovers trope. This breakup really shattered me. It’s been over a year now, but it still pierces me when I think about it too much.

9. Major one being meeting a manipulator for the first time, getting manipulated, gaslighted and love bombed constantly at first, which eventually led me to have this innate belief that everything he does is right.

   Didn’t see the red flags even after noticing a few lies, and when he got overly involved in my social circle and tried to turn me against my friends.

   Had the last straw when he would rarely meet and started directly degrading me during text conversations. Called him out for that, and guess what? He blocked me.

   Unblocked me a few days later but things were never the same and I never got proper closure until years later, which too was because I realized all this, back then I was in a vulnerable phase, so didn’t see these red flags