We both met in a Discord server about 2 years ago and clicked instantly, we soon exchanged numbers and started chatting in private, we have been best friends ever since and I developed a crush for a while. I gotta mention we’re both from different countries here in Latin America and we’re not that close in distance.
Last November during a depressive episode of mine he confessed his feelings alongside other compliments he told me to cheer me up and I confessed back, after that we haven’t officially called ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend because of our “online relationship” but we treat each other as if we were.
The thing is, he’s not a fan of photos, there’s only one or two that I like from him, others make me cringe a bit and I wish he could idk change his style or clothing a bit, or his hair to see if that would make it better because he really wants to see me.
We have been talking to see if we could meet up in the US and there is also the option of him traveling to my country but in any way I don’t wanna see him in person and immediately lose feelings because of that.
I’ve been repeating to myself “appearances don’t matter” as my personal mantra but still its too hard to ignore.
And as the caption read, I’ve never ever been in love with someone like this before, he’s truly the sweetest and most attentive guy, even in the distance.
If I lose feelings because of that I’m gonna break my heart and most important, his.
So I don’t know what to do, how to ignore this, help (?
2 comments
Have you two facetimed? If so, how do you feel seeing him then? And if not, I recommend you do to see if you at all are attracted to him.
If attraction is important to you, it just is. It’s a hard pill to swallow when you like someone otherwise. but if you think being physically attracted to him is important to the point you worry you won’t like him if you meet, he might not be the man for you. We all should be with someone who gets butterflies looking at us. Not wishing we were more attractive
Some people can love another person and not be physically attracted to them but still have a fulfilling romantic relationship with them.
I couldn’t, personally. And it doesn’t sound like you could, either.
I’m sure he’s a wonderful guy. But if you are just not attracted to him, you can’t make that *not* be an issue by just repeating “attraction doesn’t matter” . It DOES matter.
I get it’s hard being long distance to gauge whether you’d be attracted to him. But there are workarounds. Can you have a video call with him? Or can he do short videos for you and send them – you could ask him to take a video to show you around his town, or something like that. Something where you would see him ‘in action’ so to speak, not just a picture.
That might help you figure out more clearly if there’s any attraction there. I think you need to try this, or any other ways of gathering info you can think of – if you two have been in contact for two years already, and it might be a long while more before you could meet in real life, the disappointment will be all the more crushing for both of you if you realize then that you’re not physically attracted. Do what you can to figure out sooner if you could be attracted or not, rather than breaking both your hearts somewhere down the road.