It was the third date. I dropped him home as he doesn’t drive and we live close by. We kissed and made out a little. Within few minutes he says ‘do you like sucking?’ and points to his dick. We were in the car parked in front of his apartment. I said I am not up for it at that time and place. We kissed a little more and he forcefully tried to push my head to his crotch. When I resisted and pulled back, he apologized quickly and asked if I was okay. All I wanted to do was to get out of there. I did not tell him how offended I was. I quickly let him out and drove home to safety. I lost all interest in seeing him again. How do I bow out of this? I am an introvert and not good at expressing myself or confrontations.
30 comments
Being an introvert doesn’t exclude you from standing up for yourself. You don’t owe him any explanation as to why you don’t want to see him again. Just don’t. Either tell him that or ghost him.
That man is horrible. You don’t owe him shit. If you’re not upto communicating this to him, just block and delete his number.
I’m so sorry that happened. How are you doing? That’s actually really scary.
If you don’t feel comfortable being direct, just block him. What he did was attempt sexual assault and he’s fucking lucky you didn’t go to the police.
I had someone just *ask* me to suck on him on a second date. He asked a couple times and then asked if I would at least stroke it. It totally turned me off and I didn’t want to go out with him again. I can only imagine how much it turned you off and freaked out when he actually tried to force you!
I’m sorry that you went through that. I’ve been in a similar situation and it feels degrading, especially when you’ve already told the person no. If you feel the need to confront him about it, by all means do so. If you don’t feel the need to confront him about it, a simple “I’m no longer interested” explanation will suffice.
Block his number ASAP!
Eww what a horrible man. I think in those instances you can delete and block (I’m normally not pro blocking but for this i am)
Also its fine to tell people like this to **** off.
Did you meet on an app? There might be an option to report his profile.
You clearly said no to his request and he tried to force you anyways. It’s at a minimum attempted sexual assault.
If you met him through an app, report him as dangerous in person, and block him. If you didn’t meet him through an app, block him. If you met him through friends, try to tell the one you trust the most, and block him.
That is so disrespectful and rude and crossing boundaries. I have had a man get forceful with me before and I still have trust issues. I would report his account because that is borderline SA ( what if he wouldn’t have stopped ?)and then block his number. He is a grown ass adult who should know the difference between yes and no, you don’t owe him a fucking thing.
You don’t have to say anything to him but I think it’s good to stand up for yourself and tell him off for trying to sexually assault you. It’s unlikely to change how he behaves but telling him would be for you not for him. Take your power back.
Also report him to the app.
Ughhhh. Been there and it’s such a yucky feeling. Who tells these guys that this is even remotely okay?!?!
So sorry this happened to you OP. Ghost him, delete, and block his number. No explanation needed or deserved because he knows where he effed up.
Wtf ? That’s some assault right there… ain’t got shit with you being an introvert. You’re expressing it now.
If you let him on an app and are still matched , report that bitch !! “” offline behavior “”
And tell them exactly what happened. Copy paste it.
Listening to a podcast recently and they said the reason people we meet on apps act so shitty is cos we have no connection to anyone in their life so we can’t spread the word amongst their friends coworkers etc at what they do. There’s no pushback. This gives some awful people a license to do awful things, I would report him on the app
Just block him and don’t contact him. Why do you feel you owe him an explanation?
He knows he assaulted you and I would be surprised if he kept trying. Block his number/social media to be sure that he doesn’t come out of the blue.
Even though I’m sure it’s such an awful experience and you probably wanted to tell that guy off, I think you did the right thing by forgoing the explanation. You never know with guys like that. I’m so sorry that happened to you. I can’t imagine the rage you must have been feeling, and to have to keep it in for your safety takes such strength. I’m a male, and I don’t think I would have what it takes if I were a woman to be smart enough to not punch him.
I think in his case it’s appropriate to “ghost” him. he’ll know why.
This account on ig has many great examples of goodbye messages that highlight when someone has crossed a boundary and that behaviour is not accepted.
(underscore)good.byes(underscore)
Report him. What he did was unacceptable and forcing your head down to his crotch – definitely out of the line.
Slimeball, I’d encourage you to never see him again.
*in a situation like this, ghosting is okay and appropriate* block and delete!
I can’t imagine how terrifying and humiliating that must have been. I’m not a fan of ghosting but this guy is a piece of crap and possible sex offender. He doesn’t deserve the respect of a decent breakup because he disrespected you so badly.
He’s no dummy. He’ll know exactly why he hears crickets from you.
Just block and delete, honestly you don’t owe him anything. Sorry that this happened to you. If he’s being this sexually aggressive, selfish and inconsiderate on the third date imagine how he could be once he feels more comfortable. What he did was not normal or acceptable behaviour and you don’t have to pretend it was to make him feel more comfortable. Please move on as this is the type of person who can be dangerous
I had some guy choke me this week the first time we made out. Complete huge turn off sometimes I think they just have absolutely no idea what the fuck they’re doing lol it’s not you trust me it’s them
“Did not enjoy that. Please don’t text again.”
Bruh do you need permission to nope out? Tell him you don’t want to see him again. It has nothing to do with being introverted or whatever.
Block and move on. You don’t need to tell him shit bc if he were rational enough, he’d know.
Jesus. That’s horrible!! You handled it how most of us would.
In situations like these, it’s fully acceptable to ghost and block.
I hope you’re doing okay
Is it just me or is this less “got rough” and more “committed sexual assault?”
> Within few minutes he says ‘do you like sucking?’ and points to his dick
what a silver tongued devil
/s
Just tell him it’s not going to work out. Trying to force your head toward his crotch is a pretty messed up thing to do, I can’t even imagine how that is acceptable in some peoples heads, although I suppose it must have worked with somebody.