My boyfriend has a pretty high sex drive so we almost have sex every day. But what I notice is that the foreplay lasts a few minutes and he rushes through it just to get to the sex part. Sometimes no foreplay at all. In the beginning I was really turned on by that and actually liked it, but now I am starting to wonder if this is normal.
Maybe there are guys out there who also don’t like foreplay, could you comment and enlighten me please?
5 comments
Talk to your boyfriend about this. Let him know you want more play before penetration.
You are looking at this totally the wrong way but I will come back to that later.
To answer your question males generally don’t need ‘warming up’ like a female does, especially when it comes to PIV. Many males dont give a damn about forepplay the other half do give a damn about foreplay and they enjoy it. So you could say that yes this is common behaviour of males which you could say is normal, but on the flipside its common behaviour of males to like foreplay and you could say that is normal also.
In respect of me saying that you are looking at this totally the wrong way and asking the wrong question thats because it doesn’t matter 1% what may or may not be classed as ‘normal’ sexual behaviour intimacy wise BECAUSE its totally about what you like, your sexual needs and what you want, just as equally the same as it being totally about what your partner likes, your partners sexual needs and what your partner wants and if there is a difference in that then kind of meeting in the middle so you both enjoy intimacy with each other and are fulfilled and satisfied.
Your question asking if this is normal is clearly done so with your mindset being that if others reply and said it was normal, then you are prepared to accept its ‘normal’ and allow yourself to accept it and sacrifice your own needs.
You need to sit him down and tell him what you want and what you need and if he cant do that for you then you have a big decision ahead because sexual incompatibility is a valid reason to end a releationship especially if they are putting their own needs and wants above their partners. Nobody wants to be in a relationship for years or the rest of their life with someone they arent sexually compatible with and certainly not in a relationship with a person who puts themselves before their partner and doesnt treat their partner equally
When you previously liked your boyfriend skipping foreplay, that encouraged him in that direction. So now you need to reverse that. You will need to explain this to him.
You simply need to tell him “I’m not ready yet” in the moment but you can also sit him down and explain “I need more time to warm up otherwise it doesn’t feel good.”
If he has a hard time with such a simple, basic request? That’s a big ol red flag.
You need to slow him down that way you’ll both get more out of it