I (21M) have been seeing this girl (20F) for over 8 months. I have been only seeing her even though she told me she wasn’t ready to get into a relationship yet. I’m ok with waiting right now because I understand we both have other goals before committing but I have communicated that I will be here when she is ready.
Even though we are not exclusive, I’ve been spending a lot of time with her, to the point I don’t see that she would have any other time for other guys. She has never cancelled or postponed a date because she is always available for me.
This girl and I aren’t just friends. We have already established a sexual and emotional connection with each other. We go on dates a lot, she sleeps over at my house, we buy presents for each other, sex, etc. We also text everyday and send each other good morning/good night.
Would a girl, who isn’t exclusive with a guy she has been hanging out with for more than 8 months, still be seeing other guys?
4 comments
This is a good question to ask her
42 M. I’m in a similar spot, and I’m pretty sure she’s exclusive with me – I certainly am with her. But you’re going to get some blowback on this. Reddit seems to mandate that unless you’ve talked about exclusivity, it ABSOLUTELY CANNOT EXIST. And the fact is that both parties are running a risk (a risk I’m willing to take). I would argue that at a certain point (unsure of where that point is) exclusivity becomes implied. But a lot of people will vehemently disagree.
This is the tricky thing about the current dating scene.
What most people would consider standard relationship activities are now hiding under an umbrella of a situationship dynamic. You two are spending time together, having sex, bonding emotionally and physically. Yet she makes the point to tell you she doesn’t want to be in a relationship.
Unforutuatly, I’ve been on her side. But I felt very guilty the entire time. The guy I was doing this with fell in love with me and knew I didnt feel the same way because I’d essentially had one foot out the door the entire time. I very much regret the carelessness of my actions because he was a really good friend and I ended up losing him because I didn’t commit to any boundaries.
You gotta have a conversation with her about what she really, honestly wants from you and possibly others. If you both continue doing these things, feelings will develop and that alone could answer this question for you. But if she imagines meeting other people while you’re developing stronger feelings… you’re only going to end up heartbroken.
The short easy answer is yes she would.
The only way to know is to ask her.