TLDR/ I, F/55 yr. old, agreed to go to my 84-year-old narcissistic mother’s house after a significant absence.
She used my 88-year-old father as an excuse to see me.
I want to get all my frustrations out, which will likely lead to a huge argument.
I’m feeling apprehensive as to how to be nice but tough.
2 comments
Let me ask you this: At the age of 84, is your mother likely to change? I’m going to say no.
So what is the end game here? Venting out your frustrations of 55 years is not going to end well *and you know it*! I’d actually focus on what you DO want.
What do you want out of this? An apology? Acknowledgement? Understanding? Is there one incident or disagreement you need to hash out? Take some paper or a computer and write it all out as if it were going perfectly.
Then when you arrive, remind yourself “I’m here to see Dad, and my end game is “Peace and Harmony” and just getting out of here with my dignity intact.”
That is exactly what I needed to hear!
No, she won’t change, acknowledge that she is evil or even apologize.
It would be nice if she did, as I yearn to have a mother/daughter relationship like my friends had.
At least I have my dad!
Thank you so much!