Men who didn’t start dating until later in life, how did your first partner react when they found out you had zero relationship experience?

13 comments

1. I don’t share that it is private, I don’t kiss and tell. That is immature to talk about women I’ve dated in the past to the person I’m currently dating. If she persists, I lie

2. I first dated at 22. I’m not sure if that counts as “late” or not. The person I was dating pursued me, and it was relatively obvious from the beginning that I had zero experience. There was no “big reveal” because I wasn’t putting on a front. I don’t think I explicitly said I was a virgin until later, but it turned out that, due to her semi-religious upbringing, she had more issues having sex with me than I did with her (not because she was inexperienced, but because I was supposed to be “the one”, which was supposed to be different somehow). By the time we tried, I was relaxed enough to avoid ED, and it went…ok.

   I think because women start dating successfully earlier than men do on average, the woman will probably have more experience than the man if they’re of similar ages. I suspect most women (or most women who have given it any thought) will be quite happy with the fact that their body count will be higher than their partners. And whether or not someone is a virgin really doesn’t predict much about how they’ll treat you. The ability to tell fantasy from reality does not suddenly appear once someone loses their virginity, and woman are just as guilty of unrealistic fantasies as men.

3. There is no such thing as relationship experience, only experience in the relationship. Don’t worry about it too much.

4. If you have zero experience with women, you take that shit to your grave. I normally don’t encourage lying, but this is one of those times where it’s for your own good.

5. Surprised that she was my first girlfriend, well someone I claimed to be my girlfriend. All the others were just situationships, one nights, 2 weeks, max of 6 months and on to the next.

   Tinder and dating apps though there were dating websites I used back in the day but never r3ally check, tinder took me put of my shell…and I gained all the experiences I needed with women. Keeping and leading conversations, making them laugh, keeping them interested, how to make conversations sexual without over doing it but most importantly how to keep them intrigued and comfortable.

6. I can’t remember. She didn’t seem to mind. Maybe liked the idea I didn’t have baggage

7. I’m not sure if 20 counts as late, but it was never an issue, and I’d reframe it to share why I think that is:

   You *have* had relationships with women, I assume. Maybe they weren’t sexual or romantic, but they were real, they involved living up to commitments and meeting expectations. That experience counts.

   I’d venture to bet that a lot of guys who get hung up over inexperience carry it with shame, and that comes through when they share it.

8. Ngl I never told girls I was dating how little experience I had I just kinda faked it

9. Fake it till you make it. Everyone sucks at relationships anyways.

10. She said “That actually explains a lot”

    She then proceeded to fuck my brains out.

11. She dumped me and turned lesbian and is engaged now

12. She didn’t ask, I didn’t tell. Things went good, it isn’t a rocket science. She asked me out just to have sex anyway.

13. Supportive in the short term, but in the long term she sabotaged everything because she was convinced it was already doomed.