Hi, I am 29F. I have a sister that is 27 and a brother that is 23.
So when I was 18 I worked as a carhop at a local sonic. I was barely making it and had been working there since I was 16. I wasn’t getting anywhere with job applications online and was a little desperate so I went to literally every single place in town and asked if they were hiring for anything I could do and if I couldn’t do it I could figure it out pretty quickly. I ended up at a small welding shop and the boss said he’d been watching me go door to door and liked that I was determined to get a job so he’d figure out something for me to do and to come in the next morning at 6 sharp in something I didn’t mind getting dirty.
I’ve worked there since then and am now married to one of the foremen (34m).
My sister had a similar experience and ended up at a place where they make car parts, she has been there some years as well. She also just walked in and asked if they had anything she could possibly do because she wasn’t getting much call back with online job applications.
Then there is my brother he is 23 and is unemployed and has never had a job at all. He says he has put in applications online but never got a call back. The one place that did call him back was a papermill and he said he didn’t want to work there and blew it off. It probably wasn’t the best nicest and prettiest job but a job is a job and it would’ve paid him well. That has been over a year now.
He complains constantly about not being able to get a job but he doesn’t try to get a job. He mostly complains to me because he knows I couldn’t get a job with the online applications so he feels like I should relate but I don’t because I literally walked door to door to find a job. I don’t understand what’s going through his head. He still lives with our parents and our dad is pretty fed up with him still living there and spending all of his time screwing off instead of doing something.
Anyway my brother called me again today and went on a rant that he couldn’t find a job and dad is trying to make him move out etc etc. I told him to try the place that called him back before or go to the employment office or a temp job place or something, anything at this point really.
He thought those ideas were bad so I have no idea what to say to him now. I mean I get that I got insanely lucky with my job but it isn’t the easiest job in the world either. Idk what to say when he rants about it because he refuses to do anything about it.
Tdlr- my brother is unemployed but doesn’t like any of the job options available and refuses to do any of them. I don’t know how to deal with him when he calls to rant.
4 comments
Just don’t answer him. He doesn’t want to try to get a job, but then rant about it, it’s his problem, not his. You can’t help someone who can’t help themselves. If I was you, I wouldn’t even help him out financially. He decided to be stubborn, so let him be stubborn
The best way to ‘deal’ with him is to not deal with him at all.
“Lil bro, if this is about complaining about your lack of success finding a job, I’m not interested. You’ve had offers but turned them down. You saw how sis and I found jobs (knocking door to door). The pieces are there, you just have to pick them up and make something with them. Now, if you want to talk about anything else, sure, but this will be the last time I discuss your job search with you. Sorry, I love you, but I can’t help you if you won’t help yourself.”
Then just stick to it
So since you found your job old school in adying economy from a dude who stood in his doorway for hours just to watch your fanny twitch from one door to the next, there have been two global downturns and a year- long lockdown that changed the entire landscape for grunt workers, white collars – everyone but the few who somehow weren’t downsized.
But you can’t see that his situation isnt yours, because back when things were completely, absolutely different, you found a job making buggy whips.
Look at you being all grandma. Why don’t you tell your bro that if he doesn’t like his life, he can move to Russia?
Srsly hope you have your excuses ready for the day there isn’t a job for you. It’s coming, and babe, not having a job will mean you’re a subhuman unworthy of having a roof or food. Because you say so.
He needs to grow up and quit looking for someone to take care of him and make live easy for him. Your parents need to give him a deadline to move out.