I (24f) love my boyfriend(24m). We’re about to move in together & I’m nervous because I’ve never lived with a significant other. I have also never been in love that’s been so healthy. At the same time I don’t know if he is “THE ONE” or forever. It makes me sad to think about because I love him so much. I want to end up with him because of what we’ve built, id love to raise a family with him because he would show our children how beautiful love can be. I used to be very independent & I loved being single but he’s shown me so much space & love to feel like I still can have independence while being with him, which I really value. He checks all the boxes, besides some communication issues we’re working on. (It’s things like sarcasm being taken the wrong way etc..) I sometimes think because of this we may not make it because I tend to be very sarcastic. But vice versa he tries to be sarcastic and ends up hurting my feelings 😂 I know love is about compromise & nothing is perfect but I’ve also never experienced a love like this. I also feel hot & cold sometimes where one day I am so in love & the next day I feel like we should break up. Even on those days though I feel love for him.
He’s the type of love that makes you a better person, a type of love you read about in romance novels. Just thinking about him makes me miss him & makes me smile.
TL;DR my question is really do people in love have the same thinking processes as me- where they don’t know if they’ll be together forever, hot and cold emotions – or are people in love just sure of it?
5 comments
I’m in love. My bf (61) is an amazing man. I’m 49 and have been through some bad relationships.
I want to be with him forever. No doubts at all.
>love is about compromise & nothing is perfect
That usually applies to how you hang the toilet paper roll, not treating your partner like shit under the guise of “I’m just being sarcastic.” If you know this is hurtful for both of you, then both of you need to stop doing it.
I think about breaking up sometimes, not like actively wanting but, just imagining it but I think that’s normal. Just imagine yourself without that person or with someone else, can you survive without them?
I couldn’t, I geninuely don’t want to be with ANYONE else but my wife, its like this sudden feeling of wanting to protect her with my life at all times.
I’m 35F , with the same guy from 15 years. Pregnant of our first.
Yes. Everything you describe is pretty common.
By the way, there is no universal definition of “being in love”. Nor of “being the One”. Everyone put what he want into those.
By the way, there is worst thing that “believe someone will be the one but in fact he was not.”
My only advise is, if it’s what you want and there is no major red flag, try and see if it work or not.
Maybe it will work, maybe not. but you won’t know that until you try.
No one can really tell you, love is a feeling so it’s different for everyone.
One thing I can tell you for sure is moving in together is a fast way to find out. You get to know someone soooooo much more intimately when you move in together, don’t sign a long lease and have a back up plan if you’re not absolutely confident in the relationship.