I (17m) have always been a sort of happy positive chilled out extrovert. I made friends really easily and people seemed to like to be around me. It was like this for most of my life, really positive and whatnot. but then out of the blue I’ve lost the energy to be that person anymore, I’m deflated and lonley all the time, and this has coincided with a realisation that most of my friends dont really like me. It all changed during the school holidays when I was diagnosed with a heart condition that meant I couldnt leave the house that much when they stopped inviting me to stuff, made group chats without me and whatnot, and ever since, I feel like I’ve been on the outskirts. It’s really killed my self confidence, making me even more nervous, to the point where I have panic attacks fairly regularly.
I always seem to start all the conversations with people, they pretty much always feel disengaged or bored around me, and I’m only ever invited to do stuff with them the day of, and it makes me feel so worthless and unwanted (my hearts gotten a little better so I can do things now) . I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, Im asking questions, trying to make them smile, but nothing seems to make them care about me in any capacity.
I think they may have just forgotten about me, but that doesnt help how awful I feel pretty much all the time.
I don’t know if anyone can help me, but I really need it.
2 comments
Hey OP, I’m sorry for you having to deal with this and I wish you all the best.
I would lay some points you might consider.:
– a good friend is hard to find and there might not be one in the group you mentioned.
– If there was anyone that cared about and genuinely asked how you were while your health wasn’t good. It might be worth it to connect more with them.
– Situations like this are hard but it serves as an opportunity to figure out who is really there for you.
– Cherish and care for people who cared and cherished you.
– Maybe trying to have a honest conversation about how you are feeling with one of the people in your friend group might give you a better perspective on the situation.
Yeah, bad as it is, you are right, they did forget about you. This doesn’t mean you are a bummer or that they are assholes, it’s just that there is a phenomenon of “out of site out of mind.”
Now that you are back, you are gonna have to make yourself noticed again, reverse this trend. They stopped inviting you to things because they didn’t like being rejected (even if you had good reason) and didn’t want to feel like they are bothering a sick person.
So now you have to do the inviting, organize events, work harder to put yourself out there than you used to. Make some noise so people know you are still in the game.