My gf has a hereditary disease…Should I keep going with her(marriage)?

12 comments

1. The truth is, anyone could die at any moment, babies can be born with multiple defects and problems, and there’s not always ways to predict or prevent them.

   If she is your person. Don’t let it stop you. For all you know, you could die first. You have no idea what life will throw at you.

2. None of us are getting out of here alive.

   The vast majority of us don’t live past 60.

   [https://www.statista.com/statistics/241488/population-of-the-us-by-sex-and-age/](https://www.statista.com/statistics/241488/population-of-the-us-by-sex-and-age/)

3. You should be able to use IVF to screen for the genetic disorder. Having lost a friend to a genetic disorder as a teen, I would do the screening.

4. Tomorrow is not promised. Not to sound crass but I think we all would live better if we kept that truth in the forefront of our minds.

   Just lost my spouse’s sibling to cancer today. They weren’t exactly “young” But still what anyone would call far too young. It’s your choice and it’s fair to think about your future but my advice is not to be afraid to love.

   Again, tomorrow is not promised to anyone.

5. I lost my second wife me for a long time didn’t want to get married again . First wife cheated on me so when I met her it chances me a year later we got married alot going on in personal life we both had teenage kids. .then we ended up adopting my twin nephews they were 18 months old she had to quit her job . Bc of the boys . Then 3 years later she found out she had cancer and passed away about 1 year later . You never know what will happen in life she was 36 then I was 1 year older I’m 54 now so it’s tough to say what to do

6. Denying her (and you) love over what-ifs sounds like a really sad movie. You two could have a very long life together. You can always opt for donor eggs and IVF if that is what makes sense.

   Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed for anyone.

7. There’s a ton of prenatal testing available nowadays, you can meet with a geneticist before you’re even pregnant to discuss your concerns.

   If you two want to stay together, have a conversation about it. If we’ve learned anything in the last three years, it’s that no one can predict the future. There could be a breakthrough discovery in researching her condition! She could go into remission!

8. What disease?

9. For better or for worse, in sickness and in health.

   Fuck you. You don’t deserve her.

10. Even if she goes young, you will still have memories. Life is an adventure. You and her live the one life you have.

11. I would talk about kids and options and go in with your eyes wide open. Marriage is a commitment in sickness and health, good times and bad, till death do you part whenever that is. It’s not a commitment you should make if you have a shallow love that ends when it is tested. It is not a commitment you should make if you care more about the pain it would cause you if she died than the pain it would cause you if broke it off, ensuring you do not get any more days with her regardless of if she lives or dies. It is not a commitment you should make if you aren’t open to conception options like IVF or alternate options like adoption. It’s not a commitment you should make if you are going to have shallow, selfish, or conditional love.

    Only you can decide how much the time you get with her matters to you. If I knew I could only be with my spouse for one very hard year before they pass, and I would have horrible heartache after that, you couldn’t convince me to leave. I would want every minute I could have. If you don’t feel that way, she’s not meant to be your wife.

12. So what’s the other option? You find someone else? That clearly doesn’t feel like your soul mate? What happens if she dies within 5 years and your current gf outlives her?

    Knowing that I’d get to see her in heaven would keep me going as a Muslim but I can’t relate if you’re an atheist and you see this world as the be all and end all. Good luck man.